listening to: The Smashing Pumpkins - Drown

Everyone always complains that I write too cryptic, that it makes it hard to understand what I'm talking about, and I've let it affect the way that I post on my journal. First of all, these things are meant to be an outlet for the mind. So, I'm doing that in the way that I do it. If you don't get what I mean, then oh well, huh? It is a free country and this is about the most direct I will ever be on here.

It doesn't matter, near or far, its like you're never here at all.

Yesterday, to much surprise, I recieved a reply from an email I sent out to someone and am discombobulated from it. I haven't replied and I wonder if a reply is even expected. Why the hell did I even send it in the first place? Things are being unearthed from long ago and I'll be damned if I have a place to put it. So, I don't know what to do. I don't want to hear the new news, I can't stand not hearing it. I'm all confused and I wish I never would have written that message in the first place.

Another thing: The order which everything fell into in the beginning of the summer is gone. Its like total anarchy and its sending me into a violent spin. If only the old photos I find scattered around my room will give me some sense of relief, but no, no relief to be had.

"That's the trouble with you Americans, you're always looking for pain."

On another note, I'm getting calls at work from people looking to fill the newly opened receptionist position. i guess that's my job their looking for since I'm moving on to nurse's aide. For the beginning half of the summer, the monotonous desk job which I took place in was fine, especially since I had a class at the college that required me to do homework (because I wouldn't do any work in class). But now, since that class is over (which I happily recieved a B in), the monotonous job has become nothing but monotonous and I play solitare to keep me awake. My fastest game was three minutes, twenty-nine seconds and I can't remember my score.

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.