I think I'm going crazy. I can't stop thinking. This book has got me all worked up and I can't stop. I can't stop thinking. I can't sleep. I can't do anything I normally would. I can't even play guitar. I won't let me. And I have to get POEMS AND RHYMES FROM AROUND THE WORLD. and find out whats on page 27. I have to. If it is a real book. It has to be.

I now have a need to have that kind of power. What would it be like if you had the power of life and death. The power to kill someone just by thinking about a poem. Ahhhh.. this is driving me insane. Even while watching a movie tonight, everytime something slow happened I though, why aren't I reading my book? What if I had the choice to kill my mother. My stepfather. Would I? After the hell they put me through? And if I did would I regret it? Would I then be forced to live with my dad? Could I just get there money and live in an apartment until I could work? So many questions, so many unanswered. I shouldn't even be thinking like this but I can't help it.

What if I read it to a teacher? A campus aide. Derek. How would that inpact my life? Would I be sad? Would I regret what I did? Is it possible. I hate thinking like this, and yet if I don't find the answers, If I don't ever see this page 27 I might go insane.

If its real, I have the power to free me of my misery. Just the thought of it makes me smile. But if my hopes are up and then it turns out its just a story which it is, but as I read it seems to become truth. It just makes so much sense. I can't do this to myself. I'm driving myself crazy. Normal people are going to be afraid to talk to me if they heard me like this... Make it stop.

But its so real. What if there was such a thing? What if the media got ahold of it? Would there be silence forever? The same people hunting down people for marajuana would be hunting down people for talking. no media. no noises. no music.

How could we live without them? Maybe in a hundred years they'll be saying How could we live with them? Thinking. Maybe without the constant distraction of something else, people will be more of themselves. Have their own minds. You never know what could happen. I can't help but wonder.

This book is seriously driving me insane. Don't read it. See how crazy its making me. This book has changed my perspective. I have a paradigm shift like never before. I can't handle it. I asked my mom if she had life insurance, and she was going crazy. She thought I was either going to kill her or myself or something.

She does.

I need help, someone please talk to me, and convince me that I'm going crazy, that this all isn't right, isn't true. That I'm wrong.Tell me please, before I start thinking I can fly.

Tell me I've gone nuts or show me page 27.

just letting you know i commented on your last entry.
—le_battement on 2003-09-08 03:39:45

you don't sound crazy, you sound like a fucking emo, like some eleven year-old boy. that stuff just makes me cringe, sorry.
—le_battement on 2003-09-08 03:47:14

aww, the classic make-a bitter-remark-and-then-sign-off-for-no-apparent-reason-and-expect-it-to-make-some-sort-of-lasting-impact-on-me-that-i'll-never-forget-for-the-rest-of-my-ill-fated-life.

see, i like you now.
—le_battement on 2003-09-14 10:43:06

and one more thing, that weather guy of yours is so gay, he LOVES the cock.
—le_battement on 2003-09-14 10:43:49

hehe. . you arent crazy. just sad a little.
—deviouslint on 2003-09-14 11:50:37

see, that's even worse, in my eyes.
—Yenamaboya on 2003-09-15 02:47:32

I know exatly how you feel about this. Honestly, we decided to read this novel for a book report that we were working in with a group. I was done way before everyone else (only two people have finished it so far) and we've still got time to work on it, but thinking about this stuff, god it's painful! I too have been trying to find the book, and I have to admit I have searched like crazy and found nothing. Actually, that's how I found this website... And I have to tell you I know exactly how you feel, it's been eating at me for like 2 months now... drop me an email if you get the chance, maybe we could discuss it a bit more...
» Same Position As You (66.30.126.111) on 2004-01-21 04:18:19

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