I sometimes wish I was till a kid. Or at least I wish I still saw the world through the eyes of a child. I don’t know if my parents were always this messed up or if I was just too naïve to notice things before.
Normally when I come home my mother wakes me up…I never set my alarm and if I don’t do that people need to wake me because I will sleep the entire day….i like to sleep it’s a problem I know.
Well for some reason my mother decided today she didn’t feel like waking me or my father up…so we slept late. And she got pissed off at us like we had just killed the family dog. She wouldn’t talk and when she did, she sound really annoyed and when we tried to help we heard reasons like it is too late things are already done.
And when I told her she should have told me to get she just said she wanted me to sleep in but it would have been nice to have someone to talk to on Thanksgiving, and she was so pissed she was just going to eat without us and make us feel bad.
I have no fucking clue what her problem was…she has been waking me up on thanksgiving for 18 years why was today different?
She was freaking out so much she refused to say grace and then I said I didn’t want to and my dad was about to start and she said we just shouldn’t do it. So my dad told her to calm down and she looked like she was about to burst into tears…..Happy Thanksgiving! ..not
It was a very quiet meal until about the end when we started talking about random pointless crap that really had no meaning… I was picturing next thanksgiving…and how I am just going to stay in my apartment until Thanksgiving Day and leave that night, because I don’t like this house anymore.
I have been here for a day and I already want to go home (college). Because I don’t have a fucking room and it is really pissing me off that my room has become some storage workout room that I know they never use…..it’s so lame. I don’t want friends to come over and I don’t want to be here and I want to leave so bad because I don’t feel like I belong here, I feel like a stranger in my own home.
My dad just left he went to the bar to watch to football game….my mother is sitting downstairs watching a James Bond movie and at 7 we are all supposed to go to the movies and watch the newest James Bond movie.
I can’t wait until I am old enough to have my own family with my own thanksgiving. It will be at my house and my husband and I will cook it together and have a group of family members we like and friends. And I want it to be now, because my thanksgiving….was not what I planned it to be at all.
Bummer

Our disillusions of holidays like this come to an end around this time.. you slowly realize that things are changing and nothing is like they once were. It's truly saddening. I just know when I do start my family, I want it to be how it was when I was a kid. I want my child to have that experience every year, even when he comes home from college, or when I start going over to his house for holidays with him and his family. I make do with what I've got. I had an okay thanksgiving because I didn't listen to what was said at dinner, then I shut myself off from the rest of the family except my nephews and niece. They were the only reason I had a good thanksgiving, they make me smile, and I know that they feel what I use to feel. I'm envious.
» ThisCharmingMan on 2006-11-23 07:03:45

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