Yes, you read that subject line right. God reads my journal, and uses it to gauge my happiness so he can rip it to shreds.

For instance, my last entry was very happy ... so let's break it down as to how God used it against me... TODAY. My entry is in bold, God's words whilst reading it are italicized.

that's right... I'm alive... cry later. yeah too bad you're gonna wish you were dead in about 6 hours.

Anyway... new years, irish carbombs, Gerald Ford, blah blah blah the real point is ...

L I B E R A T I O N!!!!!

I no longer work for the Cocaine industry which is fantastic but a shame at the same time... because I'm currently unemployed... and nobody's hiring, woooooohoooooo! Good luck LIVING without money, numbnuts but let's look past that and at the good things upcoming in 2007.

I finally got an e-mail from a band that saw my posting on Craig's List... sweet.
Funny, you guys were e-mailing back and forth at least 3 times a day for a couple of days... where'd they go? Uh-oh, Chris, you must've fucked up, you fuck up.
I am taking four easy ass classes at Bucks next semester not so fast, buck-o. You're going to not be able to get financial aid for next semester, despite what you were told yesterday, it's a little thing I like to do called making liars out of people... (which is why I'm up at 4:30 AM, because I am NOT going to sleep just to wake up at 8 to trek out to Newtown) Yeah, and you're gonna be sleep deprived, too... man, that's going to be awesome when you don't even get those classes...

Annnnd other stuff, I'm just not feeling very bloggy at the moment, but I promise you all, there will be updates... sooo you can start commenting again... Nobody will comment, HA!

Second point of this. I'm back, bitches... be afraid... be VERY afraid... Yeah... THEY should be afraid... annnnnnnnnnd your life is in shambles now... woo, I'm gonna go get an appletini.

Love,
Chris

Yes that's right. I can't get financial aid for next year because I apparantly did a piss poor job on my FOUR ONLINE COURSES. Four online courses for which I got all the work in, and did EVERYTHING for. Even when I had to double up on acting class late in the semester just to get what would be my one passing grade (B+).

So, once again, it's raining shit on Chris Dorman. Turns out nothing will in fact ever love me, and all of my dreams mean nothing.

Going back to Millersville in the fall? Not fucking happening, because I won't be able to get financial aid there either.

Getting the fuck out of Doylestown? Not fucking happening, because apparantly it's a great idea to keep me the fuck in this miserable center of everything I despise in this world. That will keep me in good mental health.

Oh and speaking of good mental health -- why did I use the word KEEP there? Because now I am calling a shrink tomorrow to go and find out what has been so wrong with me the past almost fucking year.

It's almost impossible to describe what it feels like for a perfectionist to be removed from their track. Getting the boot at Millersville was slightly startling to me, but now finding out that my new track, the one I had built to fix the flaws of the old track.. yeah that's just not gonna be able to go into operation, because some giant invisible guy is emptying the shit buckets from the heavens... funny how it's all landing in one place EVERY TIME.

Anyway, I'm gonna go fucking sleep now. And tomorrow the job search starts. Annnnnnd fuck.

Spiteful love,
Chris

dont think that.. take it all as a test... it obviously makes life challenging.. maybe too challenging for our liking.. but trust me ur not alone.. im quite in the shits myself atm.. but we must persevere!! sorry i obviously cant do much for u, but to prove ur mental god wrong by commenting and give u moral support!!
» ruiyan on 2007-01-05 05:47:23

lol
Trust me, it's raining down on more people than just you.
And don't call yourself a fuck up or anything to that effect. You're at least trying.
Also, I'm without financial aid this semester, as well. It can be done, I assure you.
And lastly, read the book of Job from the bible. You'll see we're not the only ones who suffer in this world.
» elessar257 on 2007-01-05 09:43:48

what he said.
Job is hardcore. HARDCORE.

and it's true. It's all over the f'ing place. Honestly. I myself got suspended from school and had to wobble on home so I can try and get a grip on things. I'm also going to be going to a threapist....I just need to find one - and I can't procastinate on that...for my own sake. Good luck to you - I'd like very much to know how you're doing - so keep on updating.

p.s. your entry...was rather funny, and for that you get a smile.
:)
» Helena on 2007-01-05 08:52:55

Man, that sucks. Sorry to hear about all that stuff. Hopefully God will read this entry and reconsider His Plan.
» Zanzibar on 2007-01-08 06:34:37

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