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Darth Maul
Many people argue that Darth Maul should have survived Episode I, but here's my theory.

Darth Maul had to die to show two things:
1) Obi Wan is a hard ass
2) Symmetry.

Now, the only thing that stops me is that Darth Maul does not look the way he does because it's his genes... no, those marks are tattooed onto his head... almost like George Washington, who had his face that we see tattooed on, when really he looked like Adrian Brody.

Darth Tyrranus may have sucked ass, but Maul needed to die. End of story.
dare I say I have no idea how this money thing works? But I have a feeling it's gonna rip my heart out at more than one point...

love, chris
Thank you, Cinemax.
Saturday. 11.11.06 3:32 pm
So Cinemax has done it.

They are playing all six episodes of Star Wars.. back to back... all weekend.

This is insanity for me. I am on sensory overload right now... why? Because I am a HUGE nerd and Star Wars means a lot. And seeing all six episodes back to back brings a new respect for Episodes I,II, and III.

Honestly. It makes you realize just how shitty of a director George Lucas is.

In Episode I, he had Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ian McDiarmid, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Kiera Knightley, Sammy L. Jackson... the list goes on and on.

Let's break it down here.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace:
Pro's:

-A Cast to be reckoned with
-Darth Maul
-The introduction of Darth Vader, perhaps the most evil sonuvabitch in the history of film as a child, innocent and wise beyond his 9 years, but in the end still a child.
-Symmetry between it and the original Star Wars
-What do I mean? The Duel of the Fates sequence shows Darth Maul slaying Obi- Wan Kenobi's master, Qui-gon Jin. To which Obi-Wan let's out the distressed "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" that Luke Skywalker will give years later after watching Darth Vader slay Obi-Wan.
-The Pod-Racing sequence, over done as it may be, is still freakin' sweet.
-The introduction of Senator Palpatine, the man who would be the Emperor, and it shows a light side of him, until you look back and see that he is merely setting himself up to be the mover of the pawns in the chess game in episodes II and III.

Cons:
-Gungans. They are to Episode I what the Ewoks were to Return of the Jedi the only difference is that they have a fucking spokesman in Jar Jar Binks. Or as fans like to call him- "The Anti-Christ".


Episode II: The Attack of the Clones

Pros:
-Take the juggernaut cast from Epsiode I and add Christopher Lee
-The development of Anakin Skywalker from an innocent child to a teenage Jedi apprentice, full of angst and the pent up frustration of being a slave from when he was born.
-The turning point, where for the first time you see what will become Darth Vader in Anakin. He loses his mother, and then goes and slays an entire village of Tuskan Raiders. They may be sand people, and they may deserve it, but the Imperial March playing in the background as Anakin sees what he has done is simply brilliant.
-YODA LIGHTSABER FIGHTING ASFHJWHGIKBNVSN!!!!
-The first showing of strain in the relationship between Obi-Wan and Anakin. You can tell that they love and respect each other like brothers, but Obi-Wan is of the old school and wants Anakin to show patience, for he knows that he is the chosen one who will bring balance to the force. However, Anakin is itching for something more, and wants to speed the process along.
-Boba Fett as a child, developing his hatred for the Jedi when he watches Mace Windu behead his father, Jango.
- The romance between Padme and Anakin grows, which is totally necessary to show why the transition from peaceable Jedi to evil Sith is had.
Cons:
-Darth Tyrranus (Christopher Lee) replacing Darth Maul. Although it was a necessary action, who wouldn't want to see more of Darth Maul?
-Jar Jar Binks is given responsibility.
-Lucas starts to overdo it with the epic battles (the first sign that he knows he's in too deep).
-He also starts to overdo it with symmetry.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Pros:
-Darth Vader, people... Darth fucking Vader.
-Jar Jar Binks says one thing, and he's sad about it. The only way that could have been better is if in the opening scroll, after the story was told it said "P.S. Jar Jar Binks tripped over his own stupidity and broke his neck".
-The complete and total emotional struggle it shows Anakin going through. He doesn't want to betray his mentor Palpatine, but he doesn't want to betray his Brother from another mother Obi-Wan, he is frustrated with council, but knows if he is patient his work will pay off sooner than it has for any Jedi. Yet at the same time, the most powerful Sith ever is manipulating his mind to believe that the Jedi are out to get him.
-Mace Windu fucking the Emperor's face up, so we understand why the hell he looks like that.
-THE FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN.
-THE FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN YODA AND THE EMPEROR. And here's why. While they are fighting, the platform they are on rises into the middle of the damn Senate with Duel of the Fates (the best of any of the songs from the series) playing in the background.
-Irony. Anakin tries so hard and does everything he can to make sure Padme survives childbirth... but then he freakin' kills her. I love it.
....Nothing on the Irony?
... see Irony is an incongruity between what was expected... and what actually happened.. see by him killing Padme when he was trying to save her it's actually quite different....

....movin' on!
-Closure. Freakin' closure. The series comes to an end, and we know why Darth Vader is so evil. Because when it comes down to it, the series is ALLLL about him, not his slimy offspring that sucks at aging (Luke).

Cons:
-Juggernaut cast increases with Jimmy Smits.
-The acting, good God the acting. Everybody in this damn movie is good at what they do for a living, but George Lucas must go up to them after they did a scene like an actor would and say "okay... now that was great.. but try to say it like a special effect would".
-Darth Vader: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". Fucking stupid.
-Not to mention the movie tries way to hard on a whole.

Episode IV: A New Hope

I would do Pros and Cons. But the Pros are way too many to count, it was a revolutionary film. And the only con is that it left people in suspense for years before Empire was released.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Again, not going into pros and cons because cons would merely be nitpicking.

This movie is incredible, and when you watch the movies from I-VI, it's better because Yoda is introduced again, you missed him through Episode IV, and you know it. Not to mention Lando Calrissian.

Oh by the way, Han is frozen in carbonite and Vader is Luke's father.

....ouch. I wanna strike back like that one day.

Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi

Finally one we can do Pros and Cons.

Pros:
- Almost the whole damn movie. Lando is back in full force, Han is unfrozen and Luke is finally showing what it takes to be a Jedi. Strong body and mind.
-Ewoks dying.
-Yoda dies. Ushering away the old-school of Jedi, and thereby ushering in Luke's new-style.
-The entire scene with Luke, the Emperor, and Vader on the new Death Star. "Strike me down and your journey to the dark side will be complete!"
-The end of the series. And yet it's still a cliffhanger, because SOOOO MUCH MORE HAPPENS IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE. Yet at the same time, it gives you the closure you needed. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Yoda stand there and Luke sees them all.. because he can control the damn force!! Seriously, I still think that Qui-gon and Abe Lincoln should've been standing there. But whatever.

Cons:

-Ewoks. I fucking hate Ewoks.


Anyway, I love these movies. So much. The original three make you think it's all about Luke, when really it's all about Darth Vader. Tricky, tricky senile Lucas.

And yes I'm a nerd.

P.S.-
Wedge Antilles.

Love,
Chris
1 Comments.


Star Wars
I LOVE Star Wars. I am glad that they found a really good match for the young lea and Obi one.
» kkama67 on 2006-11-11 05:42:05

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