Well, once again, I turn to NuTang to vent. Don't expect this to last though.

I get so annoyed living in this damn town. No one even looks beyond anything, they don't see the real picture. And it annoys the hell out of me. I don't know how poeple do it, how they don't realize there's so much more then they see. I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I don't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world is still there. Do I believe the world's still there? Is it still out there?... Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we really are. I'm no different... maybe alittle crazier or more of a idiot. But not much diffrent.

On Friday, me and Amanda actually hung out. That's pretty shocking considering we haven't hung out in over a year. I don't think we quite know how to act around eachother anymore. But, we went up to see Mr. Grega and that was pretty interesting. I haven't seen him SINCE 6th grade. But he talked alot about the future, it wont be that long before I get out of school blah blah etc. Everyone else seems to have it so figured out. They're going to graduate, and go to college or some army branch, get married...have kids, die, whatever. I don't want to live like that, I don't want everything so arranged, it drives me crazy. Maybe I won't go to college. Who knows.

It seems like everyone is lecturing me on God lately. I can't stand it, I just wish they'd keep their religion to themselves and stop trying to shove it down MY throat. The other day, a girl in my History class decided that she had the right to insult me because she "heard" from someone that I do not believe in God, or any kind of organized religion. She told me that poeple like me go to hell and that's where we belong. And what if there is no hell? Or what if they don't want us there... ever think of that? And after many years of living and after these many so-called sins I’ve committed, I can honestly say I have done nothing I truly regret. Repenting or seeking God’s forgiveness would be almost mocking Him. Repenting what I do not regret could conceivably be more atrocious than the sin itself in the Catholic faith. Besides, if I was going to regret it, why would I do it in the first place? Am I the only person in the world to think before I act? Whatever. I make no sense anyways.


Who actually reads this and all my stupid thoughts? hahaha.


I was just thinking how people say a picture's worth a thousand words. I guess I understand that, because you can't get the same things from words that you can from pictures. Pictures can help you remember a face, but words help you remember a feeling. I really think words are better than pictures. Words can make you see, or understand, or do almost anything pictures can. And, yeah, you do need a lot more words than pictures, but when's the last time you looked at a picture and remembered what you were thinking at the time?


Some memories are best forgotten.

Goodbye.

are you ridiculing the fact that i can't stand to NOT have things figured out? yup, you're definitely still that jennifer who doesn't know what she's doing from one day to the next. but that's okay if you want to live that way i guess. whatever you do, BE SUCCESSFUL.
» chells420 on 2005-03-01 01:59:16

one more thing haha
i don't agree on your view of religion, but not everyone in the world is going to agree that there is a God. whoever that girl was, just tell her she'll go to Hell for improperly trying to get you to believe what she believes.
» chells420 on 2005-03-01 02:01:30

haha
I envy you for having it all figured out! I wish I could decide something without changing my mind a million and half times-you know how I am. And also, for getting out of Troy before us all. Lucky bitch haha:) But you deserve it because you took a million hard classes and passed them all so, I'm happy for you anyways. Even though I could die of envy. The girl is Sara Antes, If you remember her. She was in our Spanish class and super annoying.
» DeadheadJen on 2005-03-01 02:21:06

hahaha
yes she's dating Kyle Roundtree and is in my Driver's Ed class. luckily she sits all the way across the room. and dammit, we haven't hung out in FOREVER! we definitely need to hang out before next year, because i'll be gone! i'll write to you from the Navy and send you pictures of all the hot sailors ;)
» chells420 on 2005-03-01 03:01:10

i read it. not much else to say. except that its good not to have your life planned out because, it leaves no time for fun. Anyways, it was weird hangin' out the other day...but maybe we'll start hangin' out more. Who knows.
» Manda103 on 2005-03-01 03:40:19

hmmm
but if you have your life planned out, you know exactly how much time to spend on fun, so as not to spend too much time on fun, and not enough time on life.
» chells420 on 2005-03-01 04:04:35

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