Wow, I thought I would never hear myself say this again, but unfortunately, I feel like I am alone. Well, I know I'm not completely alone, but I don't feel like there is anyone I can talk to, except Priscilla, of course. But I really shouldn't be complaining. I'm doing this to myself. I think I'm in my really anti-social stage where I just don't want to talk to people. Or maybe I'm just being realistic. I don't want to be the social butterfly anymore, where I can just make fucking fake friends. Where we talk about stupid shit that really mean nothing to me. I'm tired of making "friends" with people that really don't mean anything to me. I miss my cold apathetic exterior. Out of all the friends I have made, lol, there is only one person that I can count on. That I know I can count on. That I know will stay loyal to me. That I know I can trust. I'm tired of going to group. I'm tired of dealing with all the drama that comes with it and the fakeness. Granted, there's a few that I like. But most of them I don't. I dislike a bunch of them. One kid talking about how rich he fucking is and how he has soo many friends. He has friends because he's rich. And I just wanted to punch him in the face today at group. He's soo stupid. Ugh. I'm PMSing. I think I've seriously just given up on relationships. And I've only gone out with two girls and I'm already sick of it. I'm sick of the commitment. I'm sick of the bullshit. In general, I can't stand people my own age. People walk in and out of my life like it's nothing. I can count the people on one hand that really mean something to me. Ahhh. I feel trapped. Haha. Maybe I should just be impulsive. Maybe I should just do and not think. But I care too much about whether or not I hurt people. And myself. God, I still remember what that felt like. It was like I was always on a constant adrenaline rush. It was just fucking great. It was also when I didn't give a fuck about people. People were drawn to me. Fuck.

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