Monday. 9.20.04 9:22 pm
I really do care about her, and I'm scared of this dark road she's taking. When I look into her eyes, I see the past flashing back in slow motion, stabbing me ten fold for what was done and not done. What was said and not said. What should have been said but wasn't. I don't want to lose someone else to that world. It's the same look that I saw in this other girl three years ago. The same words. The same actions. Everything is the same. Is this just another form of denial? It feels like it. No matter how many times she's changed her front, her interior remains the same. I don't want to like someone that will eventually fuck me over, no matter how good of a heart she may have. People change and sometimes for the worse. I'm not going to stand around and regret not ever saying anything. Time for a phone call.
Moms
Sometimes my mom is the biggest fucking bitch in the world. Twice in my life i PRAYED and PRAYED that she would die a painful horrible fucking death and leave me alone. I always feel trapped by the fact that I NEED her and I NEED her love, because she is my creator and all that shit. Then again, I always wake up the next morning and realize that she is teaching me love, because love is unforgiving. It makes you say FUCK YOU today and I LOVE YOU tomorrow. She yelled at me once, and it scared the fuck out of me because these foreign wrinkles appeared between her eyes and her cheeks turned redder than a bleeding cut. I found myself yelling at someone that I love just like that. I hate that I'm becoming the one person I love to hate. My mom. Hahaha... just a random comment.
» MissEducated on 2004-09-21 07:28:13
aww
awww...
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» Richard (217.29.30.20) on 2010-09-03 04:57:26
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