Chick flicks make me sad even though they have like happy endings, they still make me sad, and I'm a little fucking pussy, so I cry in them. Yes, I admit it! I'm a fucking nerd. Hehe. Anyways, I've been trying to fight off my depression and it was working fine until I saw The Girl Next door. It's such a good movie. Now it's got me thinking, about everything. The problem is coming back. Sometimes I just wish I can just let go. I use to when I was a kid. And that's the weird part. I'm talking about 2nd grade. Yes, with Tim McGuyver. Kids aren't suppose to be sexual in 2nd grade. At least, I don't think they are? Are they? Aren't they suppose to still be hating the opposite sex. Anyways, I wish I could let that fire out again. But I just can't. I don't know why. On to some other news. I feel that my mind has been tainted with lies this whole time. White lies. Although, I know they aren't completely lies, you only tell half truths. You say I'm wrong about this and that, but really how wrong am I? If I am wrong, then what is it? Keeping it all inside never helps. From the first time I met you I knew that something was off. I could feel it in you and I could feel it in her. It feels as if something inside of you is confined to a tiny cage. You keep it trapped inside while it tries so desperately to free itself. The only difference is that I knew she never lied to me. It's something that I wanted to say for so long, but something I didn't really believe. But now it's time to deal with this shit. What's the truth and what are lies? There's one thing that I've always believed in. Never give up on anyone. But you can only help someone so much, it is their choice on whether or not they wish to be helped. I know what this is. It's the same with Brandi and May. And you know, I'm beginning to question what this feeling really means. Somethings wrong. Somethings off. There's something that you aren't telling me, or don't want to admit to yourself or whatever. Anyways, I can't take this shit anymore. Whatever. The feelings on both sides, I know it. I've experienced it already. Two times. It's the same. Sometimes I can see you and sometimes you just vanish. Stop leaving. If you are, we can at least say goodbye. Depression is settling in. I'm getting tired. I hate this. Ahhhh...come back come back. hehehe. I'm soo full of shit and I love it. priscilla call mee!

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