Sucks. I'm still in a pissy mood. And I have to go to work in fucking 45 minutes. Yay. Whoo fucking hoo. Stupid manager can't find my fucking check and gives me an attitude when I ask. I'm tired of his shit. I'm tired of everyone's shit. I'm seriously thinking about giving my two weeks notice. The store is just plain BULLSHIT now. But then again, everything is bullshit. So I'm bitter and cynical right now. Half of what I type I probably don't mean. Acceptance. Something that I've searched for all my life but I could never find. I was thinking about that last night. And now I just want to say, "Fuck everyone." Seriously. My dad was right, all anyone wants is to help themselves. Except those rare few. It's a nasty world. And I'm about close to just being my nasty self. =D Fuck acceptance. Once again, my "I don't give a shit" attitude is back up again. Only, I give a shit about not giving a shit. I was thinking about something. I am an arrogant little ass and all that jazz. And I do think I'm better then some people. Not everyone. Hmmm. I've never really thought about that. Bettie thought it was a facade when I was mean to her. But really, it wasn't. It came naturally, and I liked it. Is that bad? Haha. But I don't have the arrogance that perhaps someone like Ken has. I don't believe that I'm better then people. I just like to think I am. No no no, that doesn't make sense. I don't neccesarily think people are below me or above me. It's more like an, "Let's see if you can impress me" kind of attitude. I guess. But then again, I have such low confidence that it just sounds all contradicting. Depends on the person really. I'm too nice. I've come to that conclusion. Too fucking nice. And I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of hiding who I am and trying to be someone that I'm not at work. Fuck that. I could care less about work, and if I get fired. From now on, I'm going to be my curious questioning arrogant rebellious self again. Heh. No one has really seen my rebellious side (excluding family) except maybe Tim. And that was a long time ago. I really don't know what I'm talking about because I am saying all of this out of anger I guess. Whee! But I am in a much better mood now that I've got rid of it. Okay. Work calls. later.

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