Wednesday. 6.23.04 1:58 pm
I'm tired of the games. Fuck you. Leave me the fuck alone. You flirt with all the girls because you think that's the only chance you have with them. While you wallow in your self pity thinking that you're not hurting anyone but yourself, you are in fact hurting every single girl out there who falls for your fake charm. I'm annoyed. I don't want to play these games with you anymore. Ugh.
On the other hand, I had a dream about Tim McGuyver last night. Wicked weird. I just remember him getting really pissed off, and I tried to calm him down and he ended up like kicking and punching me. But I wouldn't back down and eventually he started to calm down and shit and he apologized. I have no idea what that dream means. Hell, I don't know what any of my dreams mean anymore, they're just all so complicated. At least this was one of my normal dreams. Haha. The one thing that I regret is being able to help him but not taking the time to because everyone else hated him. I don't know why the fuck he's such a big part of my life. He always has been, present or not. He's such a fucked up kid, but fucking brilliant! I had a chance to help him, that day in sixth grade when he was sitting by himself crying. Instead, I turned my back on him. Ugh. That's the one thing that I regret the most.
When he went to Apollo, it was like hearing his screams all over again, but this time I wasn't able to help him. He's gone too deep. It saddens me.
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