Dude, I figured out what that vibe means. At first I thought it was an insane vibe, but then Kensey's insane and it wasn't the same vibe so I got all confused and shit. Hehe. Yep yep. But I figured it out. It's a vibe where they have a large part of themselves locked away. I can't help but see the similarities. Everyone of us has a child like personality that has remained untouched by others but touches us. It's what keeps us going, I guess. Hope, compassion, all that jazz that kids have. Instead of letting it grow with them, they've managed to seclude it. Hmm. How to explain. It's like they've grown in the mind but not the heart. Hmmm.

I know why I was able to open up to Mistress, why I was able to really love her. She was the first person that I wasn't searching to be in a relationship with. If that makes sense. I wasn't looking for anyone to make me secure. In the past, even with Mariela, I did that and it didn't work out. You find love in the least likely place. It catches you by surprise. Wow. All the pieces of the puzzle fits together. Granted, at the time I met Mistress, I had a major crush on Megan. But it was a crush, nothing else.

I feel different, I feel really different. I don't know how to describe it. The deep rooted anger is gone. I don't feel it anymore. At least, I think that's what it is. Or perhaps my heart has finally mended itself. No, that's not it. I feel free. And this is me talking without Zoloft!

Or it could just be the video game. =D

No, but truly, I am happy. Without the meds, by myself, I am happy. That's a nice thought. *Content sigh* If only it could last forever! LoL.

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