DarknessPrevails's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

Three and a half more hours before I leave for Florida. I'm trying to decide if I should bring a camera. Nah, I've never brought a camera before, I won't start now. The closer I come to leaving, the more I don't want to go. I just spent about the last hour and a half talking to Mahmud. It's weird but I just started talking to him like three weeks ago and I trust him already and tell him a lot of things. He's an awesome guy. I have so much to look forward to on my return back as well as a lot of complications to settle. I think I will use my time in Florida as a reflection time. I need time to really think about shit that's really confusing me and weirding me out.

On a brighter note. Bettie is my Mistress now. Quite honestly, I spent a good part of yesterday trying to bring that yearning back and get back into the mind set of a submissive and decide if I really wanted a Dom. Well, I made my decision already and now I have a Mistress. How do I feel about this? Well, firstly, it's like a dream come true, but like all dreams it didn't seem real until I started talking to Mistress on the phone and actually calling her Mistress. I am definitely exploring new ground and I am very curious what Mistress has in store for me. At first it felt strange addressing her as Mistress instead of her name, but I'm getting really use to it now. Calling her Mistress adds to my feeling of helplessness and her control over me. I never knew addressing someone in such a way would have that much of an affect. Mistress said she might have a collar for me next weekend. I'm excited. It's a real privelige to have Mistress collar me. I'm thankful that Mistress is being patient with me and starting out slow. I really do trust Mistress completely. I hope I don't disappoint Mistress anymore. I don't want what happened today to happen again. I just want to be a good sub and please Mistress.

Soon Mistress will own all of me. I can't wait.