There's no doubt that I like girls. There's no doubt that I prefer girls over boys. But what I have been questioning myself lately is whether I really do like boys or not. Do I find guys sexy and hot? Fuck yeah. Would I ever make out with a guy? Yeah. Have I ever gotten anything out of it? Yes, once, if only for just a short time. Does the sight of a penis turn me on? No, not exactly. The thought of one in me does. Is that natural? Would I ever be comfortable being sexual with a guy? Yes. The strangest thing is I can see myself being more sexual with guys then with girls. In other words, I can see myself being more aggressive. Would I feel comfortable having sex with a guy? No. Why? The thought of having sex with a guy, even the sexiest guy on earth, makes me feel dirty. But I wouldn't mind making out with them. It scares me that I have finally found some kind of connection with guys. It scares me that I'm no longer scared of them. I'm only scared of the thought of letting them in. Which leads to another question. After all these years, why Tim? What makes him so different from the others? What does this mean? Or maybe I'm just in one of my moods. I'm so confused. I was going to write something about jealousy here but I have to eat and go to work. I'm suddenly bi curious, and that thought really really really disturbs me.

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