I have a sore throat again and my head hurts like a bitch. Last night, I swear I almost had like a nervous breakdown or something. I was watching Home Room and the movie really set me off afterwards. It was terrible. I started crying, and I didn't know why. Well, not really. I hid under my blanket because my little cat alarm clock scared me. And then all these fucking thoughts went through my head about how I use to be scared of my stuff animals because they were staring at me. And then I started seeing shit in my head. Then, I saw eyes looking out at me. Fuck. There was a bunch of other stuff but I don't remember. Ugh. My head is pounding. I feel so fucked up. Mentally and physically. Ahhh. I feel dizzy. Ever After is the cutest movie. I love that movie. Hehe.

I hate how I can't remember what happened. Why can't I remember? Do I need to remember? How do you fix something if you really don't believe that it really happened? I mean, if I can't remember it, does it really exist? Sometimes I think it's my head making all this bullshit up. No, wait, I think that a lot of times. But I don't know. Maybe I'm making it all up because I'm hiding something else. How do I really know that I really did get raped? Or maybe it's just easier for me to think that I am making it all up. Oh, I don't know.

I have so many unanswered questions that I can't voice here.

I'm going to go eat.

Later.

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