God. Everything I think about is about Priscilla. Now I understand what Priscilla meant when she starts off every sentence with "Jessica and I." I find myself talking about Priscilla more and more now. I don't know why she doesn't write anything other then a few short sentences on her blogger or diary-x. But I know from her lack of words...and the way she writes things...how she really feels. I wish I could tell her not to give up. I wish I could tell her that our friendship isn't going to die. But I can't. And I'm not quite sure about the second. It takes two people to make any relationship work. From the looks of it, Priscilla has closed herself off. I know. I can feel it. I can imagine her in school, hiding everything beneath her fake laughter and her fake smile, fooling everyone. But inside, she feels alone. At least I have Bettie still. Priscilla has no one now. And she's further away from her parents then she has ever been before. In fact, I bet she has a deep hatred for them, deeper then before. I'm not there to help her anymore. I'm not there to abolish her excuses. I know she's going to go back to her cycle. I know she is. It makes me sad. I wish she wouldn't. I'm afraid that Priscilla's mentality after this is going to be worse. I sigh.

*sigh* its fucked huh? i wish i could say something positive, but i was in your situation and i lost her completely. maybe just leave it for a while, i didnt. my friend and i snuck around and stuck together and eventually it just wore off. and it ended. so play along, its all you can really do. sorry.
» painless on 2004-03-04 04:06:45

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