I can't stop crying. My eyes are puffy from crying all last night. The worst part is...I don't know why I was crying. I know what triggered it. But that wasn't the reason why I was crying. At first I was crying because of the lack of communication with my dad. Then, I was crying because I felt unwanted. Something about angering other people made me bawl. I don't know why. And then I was crying because I was debating whether or not to commit suicide or not and the whole thought process that goes with it. There's a deeper reason why I was crying. I can't get at it. No wonder crying never makes me feel better. It just makes me feel like crying some more. I don't think I'm going to school again today. I can't deal. Can't deal. Can't deal. I should though. I really should. My emotions are out of control and I don't know why. Great. I can't even help myself.

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