mood: empty...longing

I'm sorry for not writing for so long...i was finding that what i was writing in my journal was not deep enough...i don't know what i should write and not write...

More than ever, i've been feeling like theres so many different emotions that i've never felt before and are missing in my life. I don't just want to feel them, i want to explore and experience all the different colors of those emotions. I want to be in a relationship with someone where we just can't get away from each other...have this invisible rope of love that binds us together with passion and utter helplessness.

Going to 4th block, i saw Hugh standing in the hallway. I had this cold rush flow throughout my body as i saw him. I had to do a triple take....i had to stop because it was getting way too obvious. I read his online journal, he seems to be infactuated in a double long distance relationship with a girl named anne and Hitomi....him and his friends write so beautifully and expressively...they have the gift of materializing their deepest emotions into poetic words that later trandescend back into feelings that the reader can relate to.

There is this in lyceum that irks me. He always talks about the different numerous colleges that have accepted him and how he's rejecting all of them because he's already decided where he's going to. Why did u apply to so many of them then....was it to boost your ego that you were accepted and had to reject all of them? I don't have much respect for your intelligence because it wasn't really hard-earned. You were born smart, its not like you put n e extra effort to get the highest grades. Acually, its not that that i mind, its just that I hate how conceited u are.

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