i'm ready to throw in the towel...i know this is being spoken through pregnancy emotions, not the emotions i normally feel...but i'm getting so stressed out and so tired of being pregnant...i'm so sick of being sick..i don't throw up, but i'm nauseous so much...tonight, his mom made pork and saurkraut..one of my fave's....i ate the saurkraut, and nothing else...the smell of the pork and the potatoes and corn made me so sick..just typing about it makes my throat clench up...i can't eat...i can only eat what i feel like eating, and none of it is really that healthy....i wanted a grilled ruben really bad earlier, and now i don't even want that, because of my aversion to meat..jim doesn't understand the fact that meat makes me deathly ill anymore...even lunchmeat, which i can't eat anyway....and his mom asked if i ate dinner, and he told her i didn't...so she was saying how i should be eating cuz i'm ''feeding that baby''....i heard her telling him that, and he comes in here all macho and saying i have to eat, because he realizes that i need to nourish this baby..i think i know this...but the baby doesn't eat what i do directly...it only gets the nutrients, and look at me, even before i got pregnant i was fat, so i have a lot of storage..i doubt this child would starve..but it's not healthy for me to not eat, while it is okay that i'm averted to meat right now...i don't know..i'll talk to my doctor about it tuesday..i've been really dizzy lately too...but i guess it's from increased blood volume, and i'm used to jumping up out of bed, and now i can't...i have to ease myself up from a sitting or laying position, or i'll topple over...i was making turkey salad last night before we left my house, and i was just standing in the kitchen breaking turkey up, and i got so dizzy i almost passed out...i had to grip the counter for a few minutes, then grab a glass of apple juice and sit down for about 10 minutes...this is getting ridiculous...i have to tell my boss...if i don't, i might pass out and get hurt at work or something...what i really need is a better job...i can't keep standing all the time like i am now..it's bad for me...my legs especially...since they get swollen anyway during pregnancy, and standing for long periods of time only makes it worse..plus it doesn't help me with my need to eat every hour or so...and to always have a drink because that usually prevents me from collapsing when a dizzy spell sets in, or it prevents them alltogether....i think i'm really starting to scare jim...he was worried because i'm so sick, he wanted to take me to the hospital...yeah, they'd tell me to suck it up, it's a side effect of pregnancy, and send me home, while charging me close to or over $1,000....i'll just wait until tuesday...i'll tell the doctor that i'm a cashier, that i stand all day, have to lift heavy things, and see what he says...maybe he'll make me get a different job, maybe he'll tell me to just take it easy...and i hope he'll have an answer to my dizziness...and this constant nausea...i'm so scared im not doing anything right for my baby...and i'm scared s/he'll be born with a defect, or be stillborn because i'm not eating right....or anything that i'm doing...i know it's normal in this stage of pregnancy (especially in the first pregnancy) to not feel the baby move every day, but it scares me if i don't feel it, or maybe im just thinking it's my stomach digesting, or maybe....i don't know....i guess it's the pregnancy blues setting in....i know there's the baby blues, the postpartum depression, but is there a pregnancy blues? a depression during the pregnancy process? if so, i definatly have it...i cry about once a day, usually over nothing, or something absolutely silly..maybe i'll google it after i write this.....i should wrap this up though, because i have to work tomorrow..joyus...i just want tuesday to get here..it sucks..jim has to work tomorrow night at the convienet...i work tuesday night at the store to close so i can go to my appointment during the day, and he has to work again wednesday night....it blows..horribly...but i'm gonna go....i need as much sleep as i can get anymore..which isn't much cuz the baby acts up at night and makes my stomach all icky and i just feel restless...*sighs* somebody shoot me...or just...i don't know...sorry for this..i basically needed to get my feelings out, but that'll come later, maybe tomorrow....if i still feel stressed and upset...it might be password protected, might not...but since jim doesn't understand, maybe other people will....night..

You're so sweet
Thanks for the comment on the pic. oh and signing the cbox, lol. Go Chrissy! My Thanksgiving was just a normal day nothing special. My mom wasn't here so to me I played it off as any other day. It's my first holiday without her and I didn't like it. Other then that I was with Justin, who I am very thankful for. So I did count my blessings. We did see some of his family but hell neither one us really care for that side of the family. (Long Story) Anyways, I'll TTYL tell the baby I said hello, :). Oh the pink shirt I got at Wal-Mart last week. It was on sale for 7.00, woohoo.
» Princess_00 on 2005-11-28 09:33:05

Oh god...... of course, I would never know myself how myself how it is 2 have a child...

but just try 2 hang on in there the best that U can.., U can do It Chrissy (ROFL!! I'm thinking about how that's my name as well...)!!! and in 153 days, u'll have a beauitiful..... wonderful gift for doing so :-) .. I wish all of the luck in the world 2 ya with ur baby :-)
» CPKviperpheonix on 2005-11-28 05:58:45

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