watching: my hamster, layla, clean herself...
listening to: the birds outside
mood: tired

i'm so tired..i just got outta the shower, and i'm still exhausted...

i've been having really weird dreams lately...like the morning of the 9th, i had a dream about being pregnant, and going to a high school reunion or something of the sort, but people who will remain nameless were talking (whispering) about me behing my back b/c i was pregnant...and then my one friend ashley was working at this place in the mall that was a miniature hershey park shoppe, and i bought 2 chocolate and caramel candy bars b/c that was my pregnancy craving...so i put them in my purse, and went to see jim..and i showed him my tummy so he could see how it was growing from the baby, and i went outside to show him this river in my (deceased) grandfather's back yard....and there was a bear, that attacked me, so i gave it my candy bars, and it left me alone, sitting right beside me eating them, and jim comes out with a bb gun and shoots it, which pisses the bear off, so it starts attacking my toes, biting them off...which is when i forced myself to wake up.... and here's the definitions of the symbols from my dream:::

pregnant:::
Pregnant/Pregnancy
1. New life; creativity; new enterprises.
2. Revelation and inspiration;
3. The coming of spring; something new happening at the coming of spring.

whispering:::
Whispering
A sign that the Universe is trying to convey important information to the dreamer, but that the dreamer is either too afraid or too distracted to hear it. The content of the message can be deduced from other symbols in the dream, or from various signs and portents in the dreamer's waking life.

showing my tummy:::
Dreaming of exposing your abdomen in any way, even if it only involves wearing a bikini, is a sign of treachery ahead. Be careful whom you confide in.

bear:::
Animal
2. WILD ANIMALS: The lower nature, the unknown, fear, danger.

and of course, being pregnant means having a baby:::

Baby
1. A new world, a new life, promising new enterprises.
2. Youth, innocence.
3. An upcoming birth in the dreamer's immediate circle.


so it looks like i'm scared about something, i have someone who's gonna decieve me, and all this other stuff...it makes no sense..well, it does, but i'm not saying it just yet..b/c i don't wanna get my hopes up (or down)...but it all points to being something, that i've lost 2 of....

and my dream this morning.....

i was walking along, and i found this obstacle course, which looked fun...so i went on it, and along the way i found my friend ashlie tower, so we sat and talked for a bit to catch up on old times...and i went along my way...my dad gave me this package from the school, and it was a video tape of graduation and the after party thing...and i get to the end of the course, and there's this man there that i have to try to kill as i chase him...and he leads me to this shack, and i didn't catch him in time, so i have to start all over...but outside the shack was jim and jackie...so i talk for a few minutes, and they go inside the shack...and after a few minutes of not comming out, i go inside, and find them in the bed, having sex...(cheating) so i start beating the shit out of jackie, kicking her, stepping on her mouth, beating the shit out of her, trying to kill her...(fight) and then i start beating jim up...while screaming and crying and stuff....and so i hit this reset button, and it takes me back to the chase...so i finally catch the guy, and we go in the shack, and i start cheating on jim!!!! (cheating aka infedelity) jim comes in and finds out, and he doesn't care, but i woke up then.... so here's this dream's definitions:::

dad/father:::
Father (see Mother)
This symbol is highly personalized, and should be considered in light of your relationship with your father. Generally, dreaming of a father (yours or anyone else's) represents authority, while mothers represent love and protection. If your relationship with your father was good, dreaming of him implies advancement and/or assistance from authority figures in your life. If your relationship with him was strained, however, dreaming of him indicates trouble coming from authority figures, such as your boss. If you're dreaming of a dead parent, especially if he or she is speaking to you, important news is coming your way. Whether the news is good or bad depends on other dynamics in the dream.
(which btw, i've dreamed of my mom talking to me recently, so i guess she's trying to tell me something......)

cheating/infidelity:::
Cheating
A warning to play it straight. If, in the dream, the dreamer is cheating, he should watch out for someone trying to cheat him. If the dreamer is being cheated, he can expect a stroke of luck.
Infidelity
1. If the dreamer is the one being unfaithful, then he is dealing with feelings of guilt over an apparent betrayal.
2. If an actual lover is the one being unfaithful, then this indicates the dreamer's insecurities over the relationship. The partner may or may not actually be unfaithful, but either way the dreamer needs to deal with her feelings.
3. If an unknown figure is the one being unfaithful, then the dreamer needs to be more discriminating with regard to who she calls friend.

fight:::
Fight
1. If you are fighting with a figure, whether it's an argument or an out-and-out fistfight, or if you're participating in a free-for-all, this is a loud and clear message that major changes are on the way. Considering the dreamer's circumstances as well as other symbols in the dream will reveal the nature of the change, and/or what the dreamer needs to do in order to face it.


i just wanted to write these down somewhere....i'm so confused about the dreams and stuff and they're not getting off my mind...but i'm out..i gotta do my hair before it dries up on me....

i love you sweetie...

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