I was expecting to go to church this morning, but my parents never woke up. So it ended up being a stay at home day. I had to help out with laundry.. or more like I was left with the laundry. I spent most of my time in my room. I've been feeling way lazy the whole entire day.


This was the first time my entire family had dinner together at home in a long time. I would always be at work on the weekends and weekdays it's just whatever. I'm in my room a lot.


I think I'm getting a headache by staying in my room. Oh well, NO ONE calls me! Ha, well except for Angela. (= I don't miss having a job at all, but it bites that I have to control my spending habits. It's a bitch having to pay for all my expenses, but I absolutely HATE asking my parents for money. Everytime they want to give me money, I feel guilty for accepting it.. so I don't take it from them. So that just flat out leaves me broke. I think I'm gonna chill a while before I look for a new job. I want to get sick of staying home first. Ha.


So Monday-Wednesdays it's back to class for me. Speaking of class, I have a test on Tuesday. Lame, I think I'm not going to do all that well.. so I should do the extra credit. Ha. The last time I had some type of science class was my junior year in high school and I didn't learn anything in that class because Mr. Fritz was so easily taken advantage of by people in the class. He would try to teach, but get sidetracked and we wouldn't learn anything at all. I spent most of my time sleeping in that class, and when I mean most of the time.. I mean like every single day. No lie.. Anyways, yeah.. I've been having a hard time refreshing my memory with the periodic table and cells or whatever.. I do find it interesting though.


I've come to the conclusion that the reason why I don't put in as much effort in class as I should is because if I do put in all my effort and still fail, I'll feel like a dumbass. Then there would be no way to build my self-esteem back up. And if I do okay with minimal effort, I won't feel so bad? I don't know. Does that even make sense? I used to be the smart kid in elementary and junior high, since high school I feel like I'm in the bottom percentile. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I can't be that smart kid that I was once a long time ago. /=

Yea, I know that feeling. Things are definately easier as a kid. The shit of it is, as kids we usually don't appreciate it. Love the music, by the way.
» Praetorian on 2006-06-26 03:54:53

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