Punk'd by invisible @ NuTang.com

They only wish they had it this good

spring 2k9 @ sdsu

[]Healthcare Management
[]Health Communication
[]INTERNSHIP
[]RESEARCH

goals

bartending school
internship
be fit
eat healthy
SMILE MORE =)
hawai'i 2010

clark gable

I want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real"
And I want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd
I know you're wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

spring 2k9 @ mesa college

[]patternmaking II
[]clothing selection
[]visual merchandising

...

Friday. 10.30.09 5:42 am

trying to find peace within myself:

Have you ever felt embarrassment not for what has happened but because of the way you felt afterwards? for me, i guess sometimes i feel embarrassed/ridiculous for caring too much SLASH not being able to carry on like most people are able to. i guess the reason i would feel embarrassed about what i feel after is someone thinking that i'm reacting in a way that is completely irrelevant/irrational or i'm being too emotional. whenever i start to feel like this, i tend to just run from it and forget that person ever existed/break ties and all that to avoid the awkwardness i feel because i think they'll feel awkward about it too.

BUT at this moment, i feel like it's okay..that it's human nature to have emotion and that maybe this time i don't need to break ties to stop myself from feeling the awkwardness even though the awkwardness is still here. rather this time, i'm not going to act stronger than i really am to get by nor am i going to act heartless to make it seem like i have an upper hand over people when that's not at all how i feel or how it is. i think this time i'm going to let myself settle in it and just sort it all through and see where i end up in the end.

anyway, it's about time i react with emotion rather than pushing it all out of the way. even though i feel an ounce of embarrassment for showing that i have a heart i'm not going to shy away from it. LOL!

1 Comments.

no one should feel embarrassed for having a heart! good luck.
» thaitanic on 2009-11-03 01:42:38

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