I am a creature that stands undefined. I read and see things I can relate to. But they don't make me who I am. So, what I mean, is that I'm done trying to define myself, when I don't even know where to begin. Okay, shit, maybe I know where to begin... with the essentials.

Lately changes run a muck and wild in this adolescent life of mine. I see myself changing, among my own view, and my peers, my friends, my family. Sometimes I don't like it, don't like myself, but I believe thats a basic human tendency.
to be afraid you're inadequate.
What I suggest.. is to take a step back and ask yourself, afraid of being inadequate for WHAT, exactly?

Life is as it does, we live it, and take it as it comes. And so, to be inadequate will only limit our path, helping us choose which side of the fork to take. The scarecrow didn't have a brain, and yet led Dorothy down the right path, on to meeting the tin man, then lion, and finally the wizard.

What I do know, and can collect, is this fight for power and control, is useless.
The irritations in life are worthless, and life wasted. I'm done with irritations, and inadequacies separate from myself. I will attempt every struggle, but if I fail or change course, I ask you not to see this as giving up. Maybe I can just see its not going to help me get where I want to go. Not my niche, so to speak.

I've always been headstrong, maybe too stubborn. This is a fault I can open up to, accept and work with.
I'm a people person, and instead of tangible matters such as trigonometrical identities, or angles of triangles, I am much more interested in the hidden qualities of human relations. Maybe because its proven to be so puzzling to me. Some of my best friends remain miles away, while the ones here I lose like dead weight.
Never let anyone make you feel inadequate. As Eleanor stated, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.


WHAT I MEAN.
We cannot be defined by our characteristics, our flaws, our fears. We can be defined as the people we choose to call friends, the bodies we hold closely. Even someone as wretched and as screwy as me can be considered a best friend. Even someone as wretched and as screwy as you can be considered a best friend. It takes time. Those relentless nights in our memory that shine brightest should DEFINE a friendship, and in turn should DEFINE us. Our actions. Our choices. Our priceless friends.

Basically.
As I sit here talking on the phone with my best friend, and the soothing thunder through the window at the right.
Life's too short to value faux friends.
Know yourself, don't bother with definitions, but make sure people respect and take you as you are.
Don't feign concern with anger the two do not relate, do not cover for each other, and I will not tolerate the latter.

I'm excited to be with people with insight, and opinions, whether we agree or not. Intelligence comes in many forms. I want to have a good time. Make good memories with my friends. A good summer. And good goodbyes.
I'm excited to be inspired by people, instead of obligated or hindered.
I'm just excited.

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