listening to: "Down Again" by Chimaira
mood: Sad

So, talking with a friend last night I had a realization (and maybe more than the one), that saddens me greatly. This talk made me realize that I do still love someone that I would rather not anymore. I no longer care about or like this person at all, but I agree with my friend that it seemed like I put too much emotion into the person for it to just fade away.

I also agree that in order to completely move on, since the closure I needed didn't happen... I need to accept the fact that I do still have love for this person in my heart. I've tried purging it, tried convincing myself that since I no longer care about, like, or want anything to do with this person... that I don't love her anymore either. That's wrong I suppose.

I think now that I believe the true greatest sin is to deny who and what you are. Iif that is true, then I've sinned, and I suppose that for now I will continue to do so. I still can't bring myself to admit it, even though I do realize it's true. The love is not as strong as it once was, but I can admit that at times... my heart still cries out for her... hell, it flat out sobs and wails.

... fuck it, I'm done

I know exactly what you mean. I'm actually going through the same thing.. sorta.. I mean, I can envision myself with other girls.. I even date a few of them.

B ut at the end of the day when I'm ready for bed, the one who I don't have anymore consumes my heart.
» Dilated on 2007-10-21 01:28:53

I'm sorry. At least she's pissed you off so bad you'd never re-date her so you should have time to heal.
» lyndeep on 2007-11-03 10:34:51

Hmm... why don't you give yourself a Black Sabbath layout instead of this?? =)
» baskinthemoonlight on 2008-12-13 04:20:58

Where'd you go. I never talk to you anymore =(
» lyndeep on 2010-04-21 10:43:26

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