Sunday. 9.21.08 10:51 am
Congratulations! You have been selected for an internship with the Department of State for Spring 2009. Please read through this entire email carefully to ensure that you complete all necessary steps to begin your security clearance process.
I'm leaning toward rejecting a position with the State Dept in order to apply to the Polaris Project, an anti-(human)trafficking organization.
I'm going to miss Texas while I'm up there...
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Mixtape Messiah 4 is out! I'm going to buy it as soon as I get some money..-- DAVE WHERES MY MONEY!?
Wednesday. 8.27.08 12:17 am
ďIím a fraud,Ē I say to no one in particular as I lay in the dark. Albert, the man who has the room adjacent to mine, must think me a bit queer because Iím always talking to myself/dancing/pacing/singing/reenacting WWII.
ďIím not doing this to make a difference -- I donít do it because Iím noble or because Iím some great guy. Iím doing it becauseÖĒ I give up. I donít want to talk about why I voluntarily subject myself to the mental anguish that comes from talking to children who've had taken from them what no person has the right to take: innocence.
It's... nerve-breaking, and even though I just started meeting with victims, I'm not sure how much of it I can take. Every time I see that hospital I question if I'm strong enough to do what I signed up to do.
What makes it worse is that the only person I can talk to about it is Jon... And the giant purple heart-plushie that rides shotgun in my car. (Seriously. I roll around with a big purple heart sitting beside me 24-7.)
The thing about having only Frienamies: you donít trust anyone enough to open up. Even the people you love more than yourself arenít close enough for you to make yourself completely vulnerable to Ďem.
I did not step out of my room this evening until I wanted some din-din. (A turkey sammich -- Swiss Cheese, some wheat bolilo bread ,and some turkey I purposefully burnt on a skillet to give it a crunch.) Within a few minutes, Ben, Albert, and Jon found ourselves in front of the TV watching my future wife (Laurie Ann Gibson from MTB) when Aaron emerges from his room.
ďHey, family,Ē he says to us with a giant grin. Ben, who is sitting on the couch next to me, and Albert, who is lounging on a love seat, both grin and offer a greeting in return.
I stood up, opened the screen door, and walked outside onto our patio.
The thing about having FrienamiesÖ the thing about voluntarily putting up walls to shield yourself from genuinely good people.. . is that itís a struggle. My problems with intimacy go way past romance, and I think I know why.. The only person I can open up to is the person I trust the least:
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You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never, had a, friend like me Never had a friend like me, Wah Ah Ah, Ha Ha.... ha?
Tuesday. 8.26.08 11:40 am
Sunday. 8.24.08 2:29 pm
I wrote this for my prettiest friend who while trying not to prove that i care trying not to make all my moves in one motion and scare her away
Tuesday. 8.19.08 1:13 am
"This day has definitely made my summer," she says to me as I avert my gaze from her own. Although I've known the woman since she was a girl and myself a boy(more on that later), we've only spent two days together, just the two of us, in our eight year relationship.
"You should've spent more days with me then," I tell her as I allow my visage to settle upon hers once more. It's her turn to look away this time, so she tilts her head down far enough for our brown eyes to disconnect and focus on more colorful things in venue: her pair on the bowl of frozen yogurt in front of her, and mine on the children running around screaming.
I had to cut our rendezvous short after that because I had a much more important date that I had to get home for: I had to take my little sister out to eat. Although I enjoyed spending every second with the woman( and made plans to see her Tomorrow), the moments I spend with my kid sister are ones I'll forever cherish.
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HERE COME THE MEN IN BLACK ( Men in blaaaaack ) THE GALAXY DEFENDERS!! HERE COME THE MEN IN BLAAAAAACK , OOOOH OOOH!!! THEY WON'T LET YOU REMEMBER!
Saturday. 8.2.08 4:05 pm
"Are you going to the luncheon?" my new acquaintance Jennifer asks as I force two LSAT books into my mangled backpack. The dean of Admissions for a certain law school in Texas came down to San Antone to woo prospective students to his school using the one thing no college student has: an abundance of food.
Normally, if the Man is offering to take me out on a date and is paying for my grub, I'm all for it -- I mean.. wait.. by "the man," I don't mean " man-man.." I mean.. Shut up.
"I believe I already have plans," I tell her as I check my cellphone to see if my plans had fallen through. "I gotta' get home and watch Law & Order." She shook her head we headed out of the classroom. My plans were really to have lunch with my SHero Cyra, who I hadn't seen in months, but I thought perpetuating the rumor that I'm a dork was more important.
"You should come though. It'll be fun." We walk together for a few minutes until a friend of hers shows up, affording me the opportunity to Solid Snake my way away from the soon-to-be group of college kids and into an empty elevator, where I proceeded to jump as high as I could to try and hit the roof as it went down to the bottom floor while yelling "JUMP! JUMP! KRISS-KROSS'LL MAKE 'YA JUMP!
JUMP!" (not really.)
With everyone else in the program looking like they're either auditioning for a position with the M.I.B. or on their way to a high-school prom, I feel a little out of place when I'm rocking my threadless shirts:
Regardless, I ended up going to the luncheon at the end and had a long conversation about the effects of NAFTA with the husband of MALDEF(Mexican-American Legal Defense and Education Fund)'s president.
Unlike my roommates, he liked my shirt.
( Anyone catch my Metal Gear Solid reference? )
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Saturday. 8.2.08 1:57 am
Don't wanna' be a player no more.. I think I foundsomeone I could life my life for.. lalalla that song is weak. No more lyrics!
Monday. 7.28.08 9:46 am
"What about you? What would it take for your dream-life to become a reality," my ex-roommate John asks me as we sit outside of my apartment. He drove up from Houston the night before for a rendezvous with myself and another friend visiting from El Paso. (Side note: Houston to El Paso is around 800 miles. Texas is amazing. )
"I.. uh... " Much like Joe, after he gave up being a player
, I began to stutter
. "I don't want to say it aloud." That way, I pretend what's going on within isn't real.
In other news, I'm looking forward to going to D.C. more than ever before. Although Texas is the greatest place in the Milky Way, I want to rep my Dallas Mavericks/Cowboys in the capitol.
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