Thursday. 6.17.04 2:58 pm
its only past one dae..time passes too slow now.
jus wanna thank all my love ones hu r concern bout me. tho i'm sad, i'm reali glad to receive those msgs n comments. thanx. i'm tryin to be alrite..but well, obviously its not easy de.
wen out wif vivian yest to acid bar..was tokin bout me n him from how we got togeda till today..this bar is de place tt i wanted to go wif dearie all along. cos i managed to get de uob mini card, n they offer cheaper rates at de bar. he was so happy, so we planned to go there. hai, but din had de chance.
ordered quite a lot..cos they had 1-for-1. stayed there for kinda long too..about 4 hrs? haha..vivian wanted to c her dear, so we wen to the levis @ Heerens. *envious* hope they wun end up like me.. :)
we stayed near each other, so got home togeda by train. only took different bus. i was very tired cos of de alcohol. b4 i slept, one of my colleague msg me. sigh.. was tokin to her bout this n she told me bout hers too. she had a time-out period wif her bf too but they got bk togeda. hai, but mine already 2nd time. guess tis time is for real le, tho i'm hopin its not. sigh..but wad to do?
managed to slp quite awhile last nite, cos brain dead already. prevented myself from crying. intended to mit him today after work..but he told me he got things on. he's going out wif his frenz, n i immediately wondered if ita a ger? hai.. it mite be not..but it mite also be true..*heart-broken*
he told me he can mit me tml instead. ur muz b tinkin i shld feel happy, since he's at least willing to mit me..but i'm jus afraid he'll last minute sae cant..sigh, jus hope he doesn't.
had my lunch jus now..forced myself to eat cos my frenz all ordered..tho de food was like tasteless. found out tt another of my fren was wif her bf for 4 yrs, with some on-off period. she said they break den patch, break den patch. hai..
Actually..something came to my mind..i was like wondeering, firstly, if let sae one dae, he decides to cum bk to me, shld i accept everythg bk or shld i sae a no to him jus to prevent myself from getting hurt again tho i stil hab feelings for him? secondly, shld i stop contacting him from tis very moment n treat it as we nv met b4? (being frenz is a bit out of de Q for me..cos..i cant make myself to do tt..to treat him as my FREN..)i'm so confused about wad i shld do..
i'm so hapi for one of my colleague..she took half dae today n leave tml cos, her bf is coming bk from australia! they hav been togeda for 6 yrs! oh my, i'm simply too hapi for dem. guess they are jus meant to be..not like me n him.. :(
no one is free today..either workin or got things on..guess i gotta go home den. was tinkin of going to de gym..but i will stil be reminded..will imagine tt he's there..zzz..life sucks like hell. do anythg also lidat.
tml..manager say he's gonna put me to try telesales in de call centre.. hai, dunno gd or bad. cant bring fone in. anyway, my fone doesnt ring now. so wad de hell. but i dun like to make calls. i cant surf de net too. n i dun even get de commission if i manage to clinch de sale! so wad for rite? hai..*cheap labour*
my driving will be delayed awhile cos i cancelled a number of dem..like about 5? not in de mood to go at tis moment..tt dae almost kena accident..heng brake in time damn hard. if not i tink i wun be here le. the stupid car in front of me gave de wrong signal n i was like at dunno 3rd or 4th gear..too fast to stop!
father's day is coming but i haven gotten any gift yet..shit! was suppose to buy like few daes ago wif dearie..but all these thing happen..hai..mayb i'll buy tml.. tink tis mth my sms-es confirm a lot..sigh. :(
i miss him..i miss him..! yest he told me he saw my father..they board de same lift.. (they workin in de same bldg)..he said my father din seem hapi to c him, so he jus kept quiet. hai..i jus listened, din make any comments.. such thngs can jus happen, n without u knowing it, u can be like so-close n de next moment, like so distant. as if friends become stranger. its sad to hear tt.
i miss going to his hse for dinner..*sob sob* who can understand my sorrows..
gotta go bk to work for awhile..hope everyone be a happy soul, not like me.. :0
hey...sorry i didn't comment earlier...but just didn't have the chance to find out all these until now...
im not entirely sure of the details myself, so not very able to comment on stuff... and i don't want to go on and say like this should be done, or that should be done instead... rather i think it would be best for me to give my support in your decision. going through a rough patch myself.. i think im equally lost as you are..hai... have faith my friend...even when others around you lose hope..you will be a shinning light to guide those who are lost
» Koban on 2004-06-17 09:27:21
thanks..at tis moment..i hav lost all faith.. i'm able to tel ppl not to lose faith in themself, but i jus cant do it for myself. wad a loser i am. :(
» xinyi0121 on 2004-06-17 07:43:53
mayb relationships that have been through too many quarrels and unhappiness will not last long.. both parties will be very sian de ba.. you must try your best to get over this ASAP, coz school reopening soon le.. you r living fine 2 years ago w/o him and u will have to adapt two years later w/o him.. u can do it.. jiayou! after reading ur blog i really feel very very sad.. i understand those feelings of "se bu de" and so many memories and pictures... i am not gonna comment on who is wrong who is right coz this is between both of u. u will definitely find someone worth your love, i will stand on your side so jiayou move on ba!
» *penguin (165.21.154.16) on 2004-06-18 02:59:53
thanx..din expect a comment. true, but quarrels r nan mian de n whatsmore wen both of us were in a bad mood. so adapted to my lifestly le, now.. :( i tink i'm more sad than wad i write here. its hard2 describe how i feel cos it reali sux like hell. as i write this, i cry. dunno wad to do wif de pics too. sad to throw away but kpin it will only make me remind of everythg. its like from de first dae we met til now. n now its like.. makin me feel damn lost...lost..lost..and i mean really ..LOST..
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