Today was a really good day. I went up to the city to meet with one of my professors, and we spent a couple hours talking about what happened in class with my controversial classmate on Wednesday, and about the broader social implications of it. She said that she thought it was impossible to bridge the gap and get through to people sometimes, and I said I didn't think it was. My reaction surprised her, but she said that it was heartening and that I'd given her hope. She also said I seemed very balanced and healthy and asked if I had any idea why I am the way I am now. I couldn't really give her a clear answer on that one, as I've been pondering it for awhile myself. Obviously I have my bad days, but overall, I've definitely been trending up for awhile in terms of my mental health and general centeredness as a person. My last year of school was hard on me, but I'm doing much better now.

After leaving the meeting, I felt radiant.

My prof said I seem to be on the right track with my aims, and that she had the urge to be a cheerleader to me, but she didn't want to pressure me to follow her ideas. I told her that I am doing what I want, and it's not about what other people think I should do. I make my own goals, based on my own values. Other people are useful sources of information, and on rare occasions, inspiration, but I'm not trying to win the approval of any particular person.

The conversation was heartening for me too, although I haven't been feeling like I'm stuck or headed in an unclear direction recently. It just felt nice to have the self-work I've done acknowledged.

I picked up some stuff I needed from The Body Shop (tea tree face wash-- I think it's been helping keep my skin clear since I started using it religiously again) and took the train back home. My dad picked me up and asked if I'd ordered something, because a very large package had arrived for me... I couldn't think of anything I'd ordered, so I was confused. When I got home, there was a big box addressed to me, and I opened it and found out that Kyle had sent me some speakers for my computer!

Here's one of them:

So, for a long time I had a super ghetto speaker setup. For a number of years I just had some old iPod speaker dock plugged into my headphone jack, but that kinda stopped working, so I was just using this other dinky little speaker that my mom gave me for free. It's like... some portable bluetooth speaker that also has an aux port. As much as I love music, I just haven't cared to invest in good audio equipment, I guess. Didn't seem super important to me to have high quality sound, haha. Kyle got tired of me having such a terrible setup though, so he sent me this super nice gift. BESTTTT FRAAAAAANDDDD. <3

WOW though, what a difference it makes! I've never had nice speakers before, so it's been like listening to all my music for the first time... I'm really enjoying it. :) Love feeling all the rumbles from the bass, and experiencing a new depth in the songs. I kind of want to just stay in my room and listen to music for days, but alas, I have class tomorrow...

So yeah, a bunch of good things today! Someone I used to be friends with also messaged me on OKC and told me to text him so we could catch up, and that was cool. I shot him a text, but he hasn't responded yet, so I'll see if we end up hanging out or anything I guess. All his profile pictures on OKC look like he was doing some kind of bodybuilding modeling, haha. I'll have to ask what that was about...

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.