MIDDAYMOON IS LESS THAN A BLOCK AWAY FROM ME. RIGHT NOW. NUTANGERS, UNITE.


I was talking with my...uh...date? Whatever, he and I were talking, when we were on date two, and somehow we got on the topic of surprise pregnancies. NO IDEA WHY. But he essentially said that he would ask that the woman have an abortion, because it would be the most humane thing, for someone college-aged, to do.

--Uh. Excuse me?

Although I am pro-choice (there's no question, as far as I'm concerned, about whether a woman should be able to choose or not, and there's no changing that), I'm also the type of woman who would choose NOT to abort, barring extreme circumstances. This is because 1) childbearing, after an abortion, can be more risky (studies have shown SOME correlation between miscarriages and previous abortions, and a good amount of correlation between abortions and premature birth), and 2) the emotional effects that an experience like that can have on a woman are devastating.

I wouldn't want to expose myself to something so potentially harmful, not only to my body, but to my mind and my future children.

So...excuse me? More humane? Or were you thinking about yourself, and how you could escape without any sort of repercussions, other than a bill for the abortion?

I just...I don't understand. Sure, it's an easy out...for everyone. For the girl, the guy, their parents, and sometimes society, sure, yeah, fine, it might benefit the most people, in the long run.

But you can't go asking someone you knocked up to remove the life that she is growing inside of herself. The reason "motherly love" is so renowned is that mothers are deeply connected to their children, because, for a while, they're two parts of a whole. What the mother eats, the child eats. As long as she's alive, the child is developing and becoming alive. I had a teacher tell the class, once, that fetuses are sort of like parasites that you want and feel connected to through their dependence. Motherhood is something instantaneous and innate, for most women. We feel it because the child is right with us. Men, sometimes, don't feel it until they can feel a kick, or see the kid.

I hate it for them, and it isn't their faults, but men just don't understand that feeling, usually. Not the way women do.


Reading all the propositions on birth control and abortion laws, today, made me really nervous. I have to wonder what difference it will make when the male contraceptive pill comes to fruition. It sounds, to me, like the country is moving backwards into oppression aimed towards females and the sexual revolution of the 60s.

Well, frankly, that sucks. I'm a female, AND one of my favorite topics to research and understand more thoroughly is sex (it always has been; even as a pre-teen, I couldn't understand why more people weren't intrigued by this vast, unusual, and information-rich topic), so essentially I'm left with nothing. Moreover, society is left with a lot less; if we turn ourselves into some repressed, male-serving society, about half of its citizens are going to feel EXTREMELY unsafe--and rightfully so. From the proposed laws (like this one, which is a bit of a graphic idea) I'm seeing pop up in news stories, it's becoming more and more obvious that female safety and well-being are at risk.

Which is why I changed my promise to myself for Lent to two things: 1) Be more supportive of my friends (because, to be honest, I can be a passive-aggressive bitch, at times (stop nodding)), and 2) Stop perpetuating traditional female submission. If men approach me in stores to comment on my looks, I'm not going to be terribly kind about it, anymore. There is exactly one person who is allowed to tell me I have a nice body, AND I GUARANTEE IT ISN'T SOME RANDO IN WALMART.

UNLESS HE HAPPENS TO NEED SOMETHING FROM WALMART.

Anyway I got back from a night on the town with my dear pal midday. I ATE A LOT OF CAKE. A LOT. I can feel it trying to fight its way back up my throat, BUT GUESS WHAT CAKE, YOU'RE STAYING PUT.

Serious post goes down the drain, okay, before I spoil it more--

I'm with you about how sucky it is to be a female in this society. If anything goes wrong, it is the women that gets the blame (mostly) and men generally are let off easy. 9gag jokes about going back to the kitchen doesn't really help anyway since if we confine ourselves to the kitchen, who's gonna clean the house? Men? No bloody way. I live with one whom spends 24 hours at home 5 days out of 7 and I still do most of the housework around here.

I don't think men gets the decision when it comes to accidental pregnancies because women always end up with whatever consequences. Yes, the men would want to take responsibility for it but at the end of the day the one with the most risks is the women so women's choice.
» Nuttz on 2012-03-21 09:06:24

i agree that women always get the say when it comes to that type of choice. however, i also think that the woman should consider the man's feelings in the matter... though i think that it's wrong for a dude to say "yeah i'm definitely making sure she gets an abortion."

"pff... men..."

i actually here this ^ a lot at work. it's okay. i know some men can be douchebags. but that's why men have "pff... women."
» thaitanic on 2012-03-23 07:45:11

It's not me?
» middaymoon on 2012-03-24 08:37:40

UGH. MEN. It's one thing to support a woman's choice to have or not have an abortion. But to flat out ask a woman to have one? Because it would be humane for her, uh huh, suresies!

I'm totally with you and not feeling obligated to say thanks when some random guy comments on your looks. I've heard men AND women equate cat calls to compliments. NO. I decide when I think you're being sincere and flattering. Saying, "Hey sweetie that's a nice dress," doesn't make me feel nice. It makes me feel weird. "I like your hair color," I can get on board with. But stop talking after that guy on the street corner trying to flatter me into signing your petition to legalize marijuana in Oregon. I know you don't mean what you say!

I lost where I was going with my comment. I agree with your post! The end.
» Amelie on 2012-03-29 01:30:40

I had lots of stuff to say as I was reading through the post... Then I read all of the post and I really have nothing else to say since it's all been said already.

More humane? Er, no.

I can't empathize why he would even suggest such a thing to someone who is bearing his child. The only humane thing to do would be discussing what to do after what's done is done, not making the decision for her. I now feel bad for his future wife :(
» peanutmelon on 2012-03-30 04:31:12

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