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My Profile ColdRush Age. 36 Gender. Female Ethnicity. Chinese/Southeast Asian Location Wilmington, NC School. Univ of NC at Chapel Hill » More info. Media My Friends Calendar
S M T W T F S 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Shout Outs | life Tuesday. 8.31.04 1:15 pm I questioned myself why i keep an online journal. The answer is, its easier for me to type than write and out of all the numerous paper journal's i've maybe started writing only a page or 2 in, i can't find any of them. I can't lose this...unless the site messed up or something. These past few days have been pretty uneventful. Its been back to my routine boring life agian. I find myself experiencing various moods throughout the day: 1. 6:00am Wake up: filled with anxiety if i'm not thoroughly prepared for class, but pretty much dread about starting the day 2. 7:30 Lyceum: Cherest's AP Env- hella bored and sleepy Creamer's AP US- attentive but a bit intimidated Talbert's Hon. Brit Lit- bored Free study period- either at home or lib. in a reminiscent mood 3. 11:40 AP Chem: nerdy, relaxed 4. 1:15 getting back home- depressed, lonely 5. Night- can't sleep, worried, lucky if i get 3 hours So thats pretty much my day, it doesn't change much...fridays and sats include work, yay... I'm determained to win this years NCMA scholarship. I improved so much in may/june studying with Lily but after not practicing for over a month, i feel like i'm starting over agian. My fingers feel dead and the keys feel hard. My piano is also out of tune & the e flat key is too loud, grrrr. I was driving and i started thinking...wow, what if what i imagine or hope my future will be like becomes completly different from what it will actually be, in a bad way that is. I can't help feeling so insecure in not knowing...but i know i shouldn't be. I think what i fear most is failure, abandonment, lonliness, and extreme depression. God, this is pathetic 6 Comments. prepaid master card online gambling
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