Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Speak to My Finger
Books
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Ego and pain
Sunday. 11.13.16 7:05 pm
Argh. I think I am developing some huge ego and pain here. I just get irritated when someone said something directly to me. I keep asking myself why I am feeling this pain. Oh well, ego got brush, frankly. But then why?

I don't really know why, frankly. I feel pain means pain la!

Can I accept the truth? Yes I can even though it's painful as hell. So why did I feel pain now when my friend said I'm being judgemental on FB? He posted a video of a youth debating in youth parliament and concluded that the youth parliament is just a talk shop and bla bla. My reply was a situation picked from my observation recently about some university students not informing the new bus driver to stop at the usual departure area hence I cannot imagine the same kids fighting for human rights unless something drastic happens to them like what happened to Mahatman Gandhi.

My friend replied that I have no right being judgmental and "So we should take the fault they think that way because thats how we telling them to behave and think."

No. I shall not take the fault nor blame for having minion workers. I have done my part in making students think. Unfortunately, the system that we have do not encourage thinking instead enhance the spoon-feeding system. Even if we tried, the parents will complain that their kids are 'suffering'. And education institutions fear parents and their kids because they are the paymasters.

My ego is really hurt when I read that sentence. I SHALL NOT BE part of the fault.

In fact, isn't he being judgemental to say ME, part of the WE, for not doing my part in educating the kids?

I have been thinking of what to reply to him. I have known him for 4 years but mainly online. I know he is very opinionated and the type of wanting to be a leader. And I seriously do not want to pick a fight on FB. To say 'you are judgmental' is the same being an asshole like him.

Do I like confrontations? No. Do I mind engage in confrontations? If I have to. Am I being a wussy? Well, maybe, but I have learnt that winning in confrontations only bring glory to myself but hurt to others. Therefore, I disengage and try to talk the truth during negotiations. No point of nuking everyone when we all need to live with each other. People will say whatever they want and when there's a reply they don't want to hear it will consider as outrage.

I think I have been too nice. People say I am not sensitive. Ok I changed my words to accommodate those sensitives. People say I am too demanding. Ok. I changed. People say I am too straightforward. I try to change but no matter what it's still quite straightforward, I mean the truth is the truth right? Where is the part where people like to say 'accept me for what I am'?

What a BS. I keep reflecting and then I realised it's all about YOU. When YOU don't like being hurt, YOU tell others to CHANGE for YOU. When a person says something back, YOU say SOMETHING to make YOURSELF HEARD because YOU THINK it's more 'politically correct' than YOUR pals.

It's all about YOU.

People say we change for our own good. True. I agree in a way. But for me, it has to come to the bottom place where IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU.

I was talking to a friend about the ex-friend who banned me on FB just because I said 'you hit jackpot' on her engagement photo. And then the few minutes later came the thunder of words: "I am marrying him not for the money. I marry him because I love him very much. Don't ever say that when you don't know me!"

Err.. yes, your bf then hubby is super rich who buys you stuff. Yes, your mutual friends and I did agree you are lucky to have such wealthy husband. But did my words ever indicated you are marrying him for the money? Jackpot carries various meanings in my context. She got this bf for a long long time... To have found someone you like who loves you back for what you are and having a harmony relationship isn't like hitting a jackpot?

Come on kid. Eat more walnuts. They are good for your brain. But actually my real meaning is she really is lucky to have married a wealthy husband.

And if you read the previous post... this was the example given to me that I am an asshole towards sensitive people that my words hurt her that I am poor in communication skills. Right.

It's ALL ABOUT YOU at the expense of my ego and pain so YOU can be EMBRACED by the SOCIETY.
0 Comments.

Name.

URL.

[to enter your email, use "mailto:[email protected]"]
Subject.

Comment.

Word verification.

Copy the first 4 characters only.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.

renaye's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.254seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content � Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.