Speak to My Finger

Recently I consulted my friend on money management since he is rich.

He was very kind in sharing information and of course throughout our session I was in a panic state reflecting on the zeroes in my bank account.

My usual style is to invest all money I have leaving myself with little or no cash. I got no cash for the rainy days because I never anticipated shitty days. I will just think how to get out of that shit if I were really in that shit. Of course, we have to manifest positive situations right?! And somehow this method saved me a few times. I sold my investment for good returns and used it to pay off my debts and others. Even he cautioned me that this method aka not having savings of a minimum of 6 months salary is extremely dangerous. And you know what? At that time I was already in shitty mode and yet I dare to do it and I survived.

However, for this year, I decided to save up for a rainy day since I have some plans for the future. You know what? I was actually kinda surprised when he said the opposite when I consulted him. He indicated that I should be investing my money because now is a good time. I was disappointed. I thought this time I would be commended for finally coming to senses. I don't understand up to now why he didn't approved of my changes.

To add salt into my wound, he commended his partner and her friend for having improvement in their finance. They are up by 33%! I was hurt. Worse of all, I was not even sure which part of me was really hurt. I further reflected on my current money management: What is wrong with building a saving nest? Isn't that 101 savings?

I don't understand. What happened?

I reflected again about his partner. The partner is living in with him. Meals are eaten at home - I believe by his maids. She works for him for years. Everything is covered on her end. Of course, she may have her own spending but no matter what she has a backer that is in him.

This year I decided to have savings because my mum is no longer working full time. My sister's earning is not stable. And I have bills to pay. And I wanna resign from a job that no longer supports my aspiration. In fact, I feel suffering to continue toiling in a job that I no longer love no matter how much I try to tell myself this is the job that I asked from God years ago. But it's time to move on.

I am saving hard so I have money to pay the bills during my unemployment months. Is that wrong?

I don't have a backer and never had and I'm so grateful for having a roof above my head. I have only myself to rely on.

I am not like him who has inheritance. I am not like her who has a backer. I have only myself. I have to make sure that I have money so I don't have to trouble my family if I ever had financial problems. The thing is I am even more surprised that the partner is not even richer. Maybe she is but I just don't know.

I don't need to know. I just need to care of my own finances. I am trying ways to earn more here and there so I can reach my money goal so I can start investing.

May God bless me.