After much reflection, all I wanted is to study without any worries of not having enough money to pay my tuition fees or I will be wasting my money for paying such an expensive course when my results are crap. The utmost thing I wanna do is to study without having to meet deadlines. This is what I wanted most for my current study course. Is it impossible?

I have been reflecting about what I don't like about my life and what I want to change. And mum said I am playing victim, and I should just go back to praying, which I did.

But still I want to study at my own pace. Why is society so crazy about meeting deadlines? And then when we are at our own deadlines, we tell god to extend our deadlines. So much of meeting deadlines that we are so scared of dying.

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