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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Oh, it's 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
And I'm four days late in pointing that out, I know.

I don't have much to talk about except dreams. This morning I told my mom about what I'd dreamt, and she was wondering if I was malnourished or something. I'm not sure why that would cause it.

I dreamt there was a blond boy with a backwards cap, and he followed me around everywhere, always trying to hurt me and ruin my life. I kept running away from him, but he always caught up.

We were in a hostel, and he was threatening me with various jackknives he had on his person. After making like he was going to cut/stab me or one of the friends I had with me a few times, he seemed to express regret, and handed me the three knives he had. When I looked at them in my hand, they were pumpkin carving knives.

Then we retired for the night... I was with two female friends in a tiny room with one bed. Our room had an open doorway that led to the men's bathroom... I had the bright idea to change rooms so that my stalker of sorts wouldn't know where we were, so we moved to a larger room with more privacy. It was dark outside when I looked out the window, and I thought it would be perfect if we could escape through the window. He wasn't omniscient or anything, so he wouldn't know I had gone.

I suggested the idea to my friends, and they agreed to the plan. We climbed out the window and into the dark side yard. For whatever reason, I was barefoot... I briefly had to hide, because someone shined a flashlight down the corridor, but after that we ran out and across the street, to a convenience store.

Inside, I asked the clerk when the bus came. He said it stopped on the other side of the street at 11. It was 11:04. We looked behind us and through the glass front of the store to see the bus leaving, and I ran after it, but it didn't stop.

I thought to myself that I could catch it at the next stop if I just ran fast enough, so I sprinted, barefoot, down the dark street.

I kept running, but the bus had disappeared. It had become daytime as well, and I was running on a dirt road that was muddy and half-flooded. I ran through the countryside, which was all sorts of runny brown colors, thinking that the bus stop would be just a little farther if I could keep going.

Well, I never caught the bus. I did wake up though, and in my half-awake state I thought to myself that the blond boy was what I was always running from in my dreams. It seemed to make a lot of sense at the time.

He wasn't trying to kill me, though. At least not yet. He just wanted to make my life as painful and unhappy as possible for as long as possible.

---

In... news based in reality, I got a skirt! With pockets! Oh my!

It has four pockets, though you can't see two of them.

I think this is the first skirt I've owned since I was able to pick my own clothing...
4 Comments.


oh dear. hope u r feeling better now. sometimes i have this kind of dreams. not sure what kind of memory our brain is trying to store.
» renaye on 2012-01-04 09:43:40

are you sure YOURE not the blonde boy you're running away from and you're sorta like cher's daughter/son thing?
JUST KIDDING.. unless the answer was 'yes' and then i'd say to each their own. you shoulda just seduced the blonde boy in the backwards cap... or dealt with him the way you'd deal with a zombie ;)
» ThisCharmingMan on 2012-01-04 10:03:41

If dreams are meant to be what you subconsciously feel or are suppressed emotions, maybe this dream is telling you that you're always afraid of there being something to stop you from being truly happy/ you need to always watch your back?
» Nuttz on 2012-01-05 10:00:32

cool skirt!
» Zanzibar on 2012-01-05 04:15:05

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