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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
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The Property of Hate
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Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
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Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
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Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
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Brightest
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Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Chainsawsuit
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
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Hello with Cheese
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Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
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Patches
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Run Freak Run
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Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
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SubCulture
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Thermohalia
Troubletown
Mirror
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
More on schools...
Friday, August 19, 2011
What's the emotion called for when you just want to throw your hands up and say "agh" in kind of a despairing voice, and you're contemplating stupid things because of how much you just don't want to deal with something anymore?

It can't just be frustration. There's kind of an unhappy overtone. (And no anger)

If there's a word for this then I can't remember it.

Anyway, school searching is going horribly, as usual. I know I said I was thinking of going for NYU, but then I remembered that my SAT scores are not worthy of high scholarships at such institutions and I really don't want to go into major debt for some college education that probably won't even help me get a job.

Goddammit young attractive millionaires, why can't you run into me and be like "oh my god I want to marry this person" and fund my education? :(

But yeah basically I'm stressing over this enough that I've been, for a long time now actually, contemplating in the back of my mind just going back to St. John's and seeing if I can get into the Honors program (as if I couldn't, pfff).

I still think it's a terrible school in some ways, and I don't want to take two more theology courses, but it's in a location I find agreeable and I have friends there. :/ I figure I wouldn't be as miserable as I was last time because I wouldn't have a long distance relationship to deal with, and I think I wouldn't gain as much weight because I wouldn't eat grilled cheese sandwiches and cookies every day. X|

Downsides to this already horrible hypothetical path:
-It's ST. JOHN'S :(
-Probably no privacy if I have a major depressive episode (which I undoubtedly would), meaning nowhere to go cry uncontrollably for no reason
-Have to be away from my budgies (but this goes for any school that isn't like, very close to me)
-Have to buy a laptop
-It's possible that my friends there would all be different and it would be awkward to hang out with them and I'd struggle to make new ones
-Three hours ahead of my California friends

Upsides:
-New York!
-Friends who are possibly just as awesome as I remember
-No more feeling like I'm not going to a real college
-St. John's might give me a better scholarship?
-I'm familiar with the school
-Probably won't have to buy a laptop, unless they don't give them to transfers...

-Sigh-

I'm not even really considering this, I just don't want to have to think about this stupid college business anymore.
7 Comments.


Tour, tour, tour. That's the ONLY reason I found the school I wanted to go to.

re: I left my first college because it turned out to be REALLY sketch and all the professors were terrible, then I went to a school close to home, and now I finally go where I want to. The end. :D
» Unicornasaurus on 2011-08-20 01:46:33

Unicornasaurus is right, touring would be the best thing to do. Other than that, apply and see what you get.. That would help I guess.. I do that for work. Even if I know I won't get it, I applied anyway, just to test my luck.

Er.. I know how you are feeling right now. Only that I am not feeling that way about school. People around me just assume that I'm having PMS and is just simply angry at everything.
» Nuttz on 2011-08-20 03:30:48

I "found" mine in that way just by picking ones without a bad reputation. As long as they didn't have an awful reputation, I toured them. As long as the education is GOOD, a bright, motivated student can excel anywhere.

And then I toured any school I could to get a feel for the campus. That's what really sold me and led me to find my right school.
» Unicornasaurus on 2011-08-20 01:16:06

Maybe the word is exasperation...?

Wait you left St. Johns??? When did this happen? Or are you just talking about coming back from summer break? When did you decide that you didn't your school?
» The-Muffin-Man on 2011-08-20 07:05:28

Da ffuuuuuck?? Where have I been. I feel like I should have known that since we online creep each other....Well, I guess I haven't been on Nutang that much. I probably missed a good number of posts inbetween now and your decision to move
» The-Muffin-Man on 2011-08-20 08:38:28

Re:
I don't mind getting ridiculously low prices for my books, as long as I don't have to sell them for about 20 cents per kilogram.

I hope your life changes soon too =) I know how sucky is to be the only one whom life never seem to change when everyone else's seem to be.
» Nuttz on 2011-08-21 02:40:18

COME TO HARVARD
» undisputed on 2011-08-22 04:38:40

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