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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
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Vagueness at some point
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
...Because everybody loves those vague posts I write, yeah? You know, the ones that sort of hint at something but don't really give it away, so you kind of get a sense that something's up but you're not sure because it's really unspecific and undirected at anyone in particular?

Anyway, how 'bout we get started here?

My boyfriend drove up on Thursday night and got here at about 2 AM on Friday morning. That's why I haven't been posting, in case anyone noticed.

We had fun, and it wasn't awkward like it was sometimes with my ex. I did feel a bit embarrassed when I wasn't sure what to feed him and ended up grabbing a can of split pea soup (which I would have eaten if it weren't for the bacon content). Apparently he doesn't eat many vegetables (talk about dietary clashes X|), so he didn't eat it all. Also it looked kind of disgusting. (Canned split pea soup... not sure what you'd expect, but it wasn't too pretty)

Friday was spent doing nothing in particular, if I remember correctly. Angie and Lucy had stayed the night because we were up late playing Cranium and baking chocolate cookies (with a dash of cinnamon for kicks), so they were there for breakfast as well.

It was one of those weekends that I have no pictures to show for. I'm a bit sad about that, seeing as I like to have a visual record of what I do, but my camera has been dead for a few days...

Saturday we went to the di Rosa Art Preserve over in... Napa? That was pretty decent. Lunch, however, was not. We went to some chain Italian restaurant I doubt you've heard of, and the pizza was terrible. We got a medium pizza but only ate half of it because I only wanted one slice and he didn't feel well enough to keep eating.

After hanging out on a park bench for around half an hour we drove to San Francisco, visited the Mus�e M�canique, got spooked by a homeless guy holding some branches, went to In-N-Out (I got a Neapolitan shake and he got a burger), and saw the Ripley's Museum there. Unfortunately he also parked in a terrible lot that charges $3.50 per half hour, so it was a pretty costly trip.

Let's see... Sunday. What did we do Sunday? Oh yeah, we went to the Japanese Friendship Garden downtown. It took me awhile to remember... We walked around the garden for a bit before driving over to the Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch, then went back and meandered through the adjacent park. I gotta say, it's a pretty huge park... not as big as Central Park, obviously, but still massive.

I'm happy to say I don't feel horribly awkward eating in front of him like I did with my ex. He also didn't force feed me candy, so that's a plus.

We got a bit lost on the way back home and ended up in one of those nice-looking-but-creepy suburbs in the middle of nothing. By "middle of nothing" I mean "situated next to a hill and surrounded by dead grass." The only greenery there is the carefully watered lawns. He and I both agreed we'd never want to live in such a place. Too Stepford Wives-y. We wanted to find out how much the houses were going for, but the only one that seemed to be on sale was apparently on top of a hill and behind a gate. Guessing it's somewhere in the million-dollar range.

MONDAY. Man, what even happened on Monday? We went to the Boardwalk, played in the arcade (it was actually a good experience with him, unlike with my ex... Who was so obsessed with winning me a teddy bear that he only played boring games, when all I wanted to do was have some fun with him...)

I like those music/dance/coordination games, so we played some of those. It would've been a lot more awesome if my mom hadn't given me Chuck E. Cheese tokens instead of Boardwalk tokens. X| I guess that was an amusing, if embarrassing, moment though.

Me: -Trying to insert the tokens into an air hockey table- They won't go in. I think it's stuck.
Him: -Fiddling with the tokens- The ones in the outside slots fit, but the middle ones don't. -Examines one- Wait, these are Chuck E. Cheese tokens.
Me: What? Are you serious? -Looks at token- Oh man. I am SO telling my mom about this when we get home!
Him: Maybe we should go to Chuck E. Cheese after this.

They revamped the Haunted Castle this year, so we waited in line amidst the kids and their parents and rode that. It wasn't really that scary, but I wasn't expecting it to be. Not like that park in Oregon or wherever where if you tried to use the emergency exit inside, it was a brick wall and a vampire jumped out at you.

AND NOW FOR THE VAGUENESS:

Things went well, but I still feel a sense of... wrongness. It's not hitting me hard yet, but I could definitely see this resulting in tears at some point. Blaming is pointless and nonsensical. Despite that, I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up blaming myself. I always do in these situations. If I start caring I think I might be sick.

---

I guess that wasn't the epitome of vague, but I needed a title.
4 Comments.


ok I'm super tired and I will comment fully on this later...BUT when I first read the title I read "vanganeese" lol...oh my god I need sleep
» The-Muffin-Man on 2010-08-18 03:56:43

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
I write vague posts sometimes.

How're you doing?

:D
» middaymoon on 2010-08-18 09:53:08

That's good
Sucks about the relationship. My two good friends are currently trying to start a distance relationship. Dunno how that'll work out...

I'd like to make new friends, but not really at the expense of my old ones. I will be sad when everyone moves on.
» middaymoon on 2010-08-18 05:48:40

ack! you're too quick for me RJ! now the story is all out of whack. =/ oh well.

sounds like you've had a fairly eventful last few days, though, so that's cool. it's nice to hear you out doing stuff. even if it ends in a vagueness.
» LostSoul13 on 2010-08-18 08:43:06

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