Went to read some of my old posts again. I was much more liberal in my usage of exclamation marks, I've noticed.

What else? I've become more serious. Don't know when that happened, exactly. There was a point where I decided to change my life and mode of thought, but as time went on everything drifted and I stopped caring so much and trying to be different than before.

I lost the reason.

There is a little bit of delight in finding something that completely applies to you, but it quickly dissolves into despair when you realize what that means.

I am caught between wanting to be unique (which is a silly goal in itself but one must have something to strive for) and wanting to be able to be related to.

Here again is the battle between my views that will always and can only end in silence and supposed neutrality.

I feel a million different ways at once and hence nothing at all. They cancel each other out and to favor one side would be to trivialize the other's validity. I'm caught in a seemingly eternal loop of wishy-washiness.

I'm tired of seeing these ads made for people who are too lazy to do simple things like buy laundry detergent and dryer sheets separately, but at the same time I know I'm probably just like them.

Won't I buy something to save time when I don't do anything with the time I already have?

Time, there's a thought.

Buy a microwave so you don't have to use the stove.
Buy a dishwasher so you don't have to wash by hand.
Buy a vacuum cleaner so you don't have to sweep.
Buy a TV so you don't have to read.

What will you do with the time you've saved? Do something productive. Why don't you work a few extra hours to pay off all your timesaving devices? Cut back on a little sleep... sleep is a timewaster anyway. Nothing productive gets done when you're lying in bed. You might as well be dead or a rock. Not even a useful kind of rock, but the kind nobody really wants, like the lumpy ones you dig up when you're gardening.

I dislike a lot of things. Love is reserved for special occasions.

I think many people have similar conflicting energies: wanting to be liked (which is nearly universal, I think) and wanting to be unique or different.
That's why so many subcultures, even ones with "I am different - EFF YOU, WORLD" mentalities are GROUPS of people, even if only on the internet.

The way people interact and connect with eachother is so interesting to me, especially with anti-establishment modes of thinking. Many in this school say they do not want to be like anyone else, yet they are all so very alike to eachother.
I find this fascinating.

Saving love for special occasions keeps it... well, special. Which is a good perspective, I think, in light of overusing a word, watering down the definition of something, like "awesome" and the like.
» invisible on 2010-06-21 10:38:11

i used to curse a lot in my entries. i don't know why. i guess maybe i was trying to add impact to my statements, but then i realized i didn't even like it. i don't speak that way, so why should i type that way? now i write entries the way that i speak. i try to be unique, too, but it's difficult these days.
» thaitanic on 2010-06-22 11:09:35

I think people worry too much about how they are. I'm someone different every day in very minute ways. It's easier just to go with it.

re:
I haven't but I'll keep my eyes open for it in the library!
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-06-22 09:30:02

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