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Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
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The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Broodhollow
Bullfinch
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Chainsawsuit
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
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Hello with Cheese
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Inscribing Ardi
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Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
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One Swoop Fell
Patches
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Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
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Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
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Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Mirror
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Dust and mold
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
I'd like to write a short story, but I'm lacking inspiration at the moment. Sometimes it seems like I can only draw lasting inspiration from sad things. I can write little blips of poetry using happier feelings, but nothing longer. Sadness and suffering just seem to have more angles, more nooks and crannies and places to hide and lose yourself. You can unwind them like a skein of yarn and knit them into something else. Happiness isn't like that for me, I guess. Happiness is just... something pure and solid, that doesn't crumble into smaller pieces that get everywhere and lurk in the spaces underneath the bed, gathering dust and waiting for you to stumble upon them again.

Sadness is the dust you see swimming in a ray of light, the little particles that swirl around when you exhale. They build and they build if you don't take care to clean regularly, and then everything is coated with a layer of grey and you wonder how this happened and how things fell into such a state. You sweep and you vacuum and you spray and you scrub but it's always building up and you're never really done. And there are always places you miss, and when you finally find them, the dust bunnies have colonized those dark corners and it so catches you by surprise that you just have to stand there are stare for awhile.

But ah, as long as you just keep up some regular maintenance, it's okay, and it won't get to you too much. The places you frequent in the house will be clean, and the dust bunnies won't get to you unless you're digging around in the obscure areas behind the furniture and at the back of the closet.

---

It still feels like I'm getting over things. Like I've been staring into a mirror covered in black mold, breathing in the noxious air and slowly suffocating for a long time. Disgusted by my reflection, disgusted by where I am and that I let things get like this. I didn't put the mold there but I let it grow.

But, slowly, slowly, I've been opening windows, and there's fresh air coming in and sunlight and warmth, and the mold is dying back, and now it only covers a corner of my reflection and I'm starting to be able to breathe again without choking. That ugliness is still there on the mirror, and it's left fine little marks all over the glass, but it isn't obscuring things anymore, and I can see myself more clearly... I think? In a way, it doesn't really matter how clearly I can see my reflection, because it will always just be a reflection, a reversal of what I look like to others. Introspection is never enough in itself, because we're all blinded by our biases and flaws. We need feedback from other people.

---

I don't even know what I'm writing right now, it's almost 5 AM and I keep staying up this late because it's so hot during the day that I don't do anything. Night is the only time I can move around and think and get stuff done. This hot weather is turning me nocturnal.

SoundCloud autoplayed this for me.

"Is This Ready?" by Sleep Thieves.
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