Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
Memores acti prudentes futuri


You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bug
Buttersafe
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
DUBBLEBABY
Eat That Toast!
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Broodhollow
Bullfinch
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Chainsawsuit
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Distillum
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Intragalactic
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Mirror
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Testing
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Gym time today: 2.5 hours.
Total this week: 2.5 hours.

Normal gym stuff today. Spin class, walked on the treadmill at an incline, Bosu Blast. The Bosu class today had a lot of Pilates stuff in it, which was... interesting, I guess. I would have liked more cardio.

Last night I felt like listening to this song:

"The Impression That I Get" by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

Have you ever been close to tragedy?
Or been close to folks who have?
Have you ever felt the pain so powerful,
So heavy you collapse?
No? Well...

I've never had to knock on wood, but I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

Have you ever felt the odds stacked up so high
You needed strength most don't possess?
Or has it come down to do or die?
You've got to rise above the rest
No? Well...

I've never had to knock on wood,
But I know someone who has
It makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet, because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested.
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass
Look at the tested, and think there but for the grace go I
Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out

I've never had to knock on wood,
But I know someone who has
It makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet, because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

Never had to, but I'd better knock on wood
'Cause I know someone who has
Wonder if I could, it makes me wonder if I've never had to
I'd better knock on wood, 'cause I'm sure it isn't good
And I'm glad I haven't yet
That's the impression that I get


---

Even though I like this song, I have kind of mixed feelings about it. I feel something... I don't know... bordering on contempt? about the idea of never having had to go through anything particularly painful or difficult, and approaching it the way this song does. I mean, I guess there's not much you can do if nothing that bad has ever happened to you, but this attitude of just "oh, well gee, it seems like it's not good to have to go through that" is so... eugh.

At the same time, the singer seems like he's having some doubts about his ability to handle actually tough things, since he's never had to. I find that part of the song less off-putting. You never really know what you're capable of until you've been tested... Still, I don't like it when people's reaction to that unknown is to shy away from anything that might test them, instead of finding out how much they can actually do. Better to know what your limits actually are, yeah?

In high school I often felt like I was dumber than my peers, but I also thought that I could probably get higher grades (like straight As, as opposed to my As and Bs) if I put in more effort. I told myself that I just didn't want to try harder, though, because caring about stuff like that was stupid. Looking back, I think I was afraid of finding out I couldn't do as much as I told myself. It was easier to think I wasn't fulfilling my potential because it just wasn't important to me to achieve than to think I was afraid of failure.

Not caring and not trying are two things I've been distancing myself from in the past few years. I feel like those were the habits of a weaker and more fearful person, and I don't want them getting in the way of my life. I've also been feeling less patient with people who don't care about things, though. It's one thing if you've got depression or something and you just can't, but it's another if you don't care because it's harder to care and you're scared of getting hurt. I have a hard time respecting people who do that. One of the people who kind of faded from my life is that kind of person, and once I found out, my opinion of them decreased a lot. Life is pain, and life is suffering, and if the fundamental choices you make in life are based around trying to avoid suffering, even if it means sacrificing other things, I can't really get behind that.

People adapt and people grow stronger, but you can't realize that intrinsic potential if you're always running away or withdrawing into yourself. I'm tired of people who do that. I want to find more people who go out of themselves and learn and grow and embrace challenges...

I guess these are things I've said before. My therapist was telling me I need to stop getting close to emotionally insensitive people though, and thinking about that has been frustrating me. I feel like I have a pattern of forming social connections with people who just don't know how to handle anything and don't find their own ways to do so, and they like to wallow in their stagnant lack of self-growth.

---

On a happier note: At the gym, I regularly see a fairly obese woman in some of the classes I take. She can't do all the exercises, and she leaves early sometimes, but she seems like she's there consistently, and it makes me really glad to see her. I'm happy that she's trying to exercise and do something good for her health. Whatever her goals are, I hope she reaches them.

Transition periods are the hardest, and the lifestyle changes she's made to switch from whatever was keeping her obese to what she's doing now can't have been easy. I really admire people who make that shift.

Also, there's this girl who goes to some of the dance classes I go to, and she just looks really genuinely happy to me a lot of the time. I saw her without a smile once and it felt so strange. She seems like she really enjoys the classes and has a lot of fun, and I would like to imagine that she enjoys life in general (although I'm sure she has some of her own worries-- we all do).

I've been feeling kind of negatively for different reasons lately, and seeing people who are doing something positive or who look happy helps things seem better. I like looking at r/progresspics for that reason.
0 Comments.

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.

randomjunk's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.251seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content � Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.