I found this article while I was trying to find a comment I've been thinking about.

10 Ways to Show Love to Someone with Depression

It's a pretty simple list, but I think this one in particular has been a disappointment in my life:

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won�t scare you away because they have an illness.

I can't remember anybody ever telling me they would be able to handle my depression and being true to their word. The people who promised they could take it had good intentions, I'm sure, but they all ended up distancing themselves from me in some way. Although I understand that this is to preserve their own mental health, it's still discouraging. I feel like I have to be careful about how I expose my moods to my friends, because the depression will drive away everyone I have eventually, if I don't keep it under wraps. The fear of losing all the people I care about has increased as of late because of this mood instability I've been dealing with. Right now I feel... okay, though... so I hope I don't get any more intense mood swings.

My friend's birthday party is on Friday, so I'm looking forward to that. I'd like to get her something more than what I already did though, so I should probably shop around. Besides that... I'm hoping I can hang out with people soon. It's been a long time since I've seen my friends. :\

"With a Little Help From My Friends" by The Beatles.

It's hard when you meet new people because you're afraid the moods you get in to will push them away. Or that they'll tell you there's ways to manage your depression, as if you haven't already tried this or that.

re: I think it depends on where your strengths lie. My core is ridiculously weak, but my legs are really strong. I don't do all 140 in a row, either. I break them up in to 25-30 reps, with 30-60 second breaks in between. =)
» LostSoul13 on 2015-08-12 08:56:05

Hoo boy, this resonates with me. I find myself downplaying what I'm dealing with, sometimes, to the point where people don't know to give me extra support or even know that anything is up. Mental illness makes vulnerability such a daunting task, because it's a tightrope walk--balance towards one side and you're too open and people get frustrated, eventually, or balance towards the other and you close off so much that human connection in itself is hard to access.

Sometimes it helps people to know that it's just like any other chronic condition; we know how to deal with the symptoms, the episodes are temporary, to a degree...there isn't really a great way to "help," but there is a way to support us while still maintaining their own mental health and the relationship.

It seems that most people with a mental illness have the same struggle, so that's...comforting but not comforting. Hope you see your friends soon.
» Unicornasaurus on 2015-08-13 02:13:58

re:
That's pretty much how it goes, yeah. People don't mean to "punish" depressive behavior, I don't think, but somewhere inside they often fundamentally don't understand it and believe it's easier than it is to overcome. Seems like we often unthinkingly penalize people for behaviors we don't agree with.

Anyway, I saw this on my news feed, today, and automatically thought of you: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/fashion/how-a-kitten-eased-my-partners-depression.html

Not a bad read.
» Unicornasaurus on 2015-08-13 09:39:52

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