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Lyndee-Ness


lyndeep
Age. 38
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. White Girl (Italian Ancestries)
Location Lexington, KY
School.
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Hello, My name is Fabulous.
I am:
Married
A Gemini
A Libertarian
Momma
4.0 Student

My life is made enjoyable by:
Music
Photography
Art in all forms
Food
Happiness
Nature
Animals
Culture
Little Peices of Me

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Just life
Thursday. 4.12.12 3:40 pm
My grandfather has been doing better for about a week straight now. They've adjusted his medications and taken him off everything they can, including all his supplements and vitamins and god only knows what else. I am so thankful for this I cannot even begin to express it. Neither my mom or myself could take him going downhill just yet.

I've decided to start looking for a job. Nothing too serious or respectable but something to add a little income into our lives. I think it would be good for Miles to start attending pre-school or daycare or something outside of his little magical bubble I like to surround him with. I'm hoping I can get a job as a front desk clerk at a hotel or something so I will have a quiet and easy place to do my online classes. All I really want is enough money to be able to take on a car payment, put Miles in daycare/pre-school, and maybe have a little left over for the occasional skinny carmel machiatto on the days when I need a little something special. I just need to associate with other people and Miles and I need a break from each other and I just need something besides my running for ME. My self-esteem has been even crappier the past few months than normal and I think this is just the turn-around I need. I've put in a few applications, hopefully I'll hear something soon.

I decided to go see my friend I mentioned a blog or two ago. I'm glad I did too, we have such a good chemistry together and it didn't even feel like I hadn't been in that house for 6 months. I couldn't believe how big her daughter had gotten and she and Miles both still remembered each other, it was really sweet. We talked about everything a little and that was good. All in all it was an all around good and I'm thankful for that. She really seems to be doing well, gives me strength to know I can do all I'm trying to take on if she can do it too.

Marc and I had the big talk. I feel for the most part it went pretty well. We both know we want to make it work but we finally both acknowledged we aren't sure if we can no matter how hard we want too. We're both going to try our best but I just needed to be honest with him so if our best isn't good enough then it didn't come out of left field on him. I love him more than any person I've ever known. He is a good, kind, smart, funny, endearing, honest, sweet, loving, and GOOD man. He is the best person I've ever known next to my Mimi and Dad. I DON'T want to get a divorce from him. I don't think he or I would ever fully recover from it. We are best friends and we do love each other very much. But there are aspects of our life that weigh very heavy on us and I worry that one or both of us will get tired of carrying that weight eventually and I don't want us to try for years beyond what we should until we hate each other. That thought terrifies me. I always want us to be friends, not only for our own sakes but obviously for Miles' too. I want to see if getting a job and a car and a bit more of a "life" will help me feel like a stronger person and will lessen the weight of those burdens. We shall see, only time can tell. But I feel like we are at least taking a step in the right direction and we're trying to walk the same direction. Hopefully we can stay that way.

PS
Batman
1 Comments.


yeah I don't really have any friends outside of work so yup I've made a huge mistake lol XD
» hiddenagenda on 2012-04-14 03:49:56

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