My granddaddy went into the hospital probably around the same time I posted my blog yesterday. Just to top it all off right? F- my life. I can't handle this right now, I literally can't. He's lost 14 lbs in 6 weeks. They've tried all kinds of medicines and some upper GI procedure or something like that. Still he keeps vomitting and having poop problems. They've done everything they can think of. So now he's in for more tests and he's hooked up to stuff to get nutrients. Ugh. Fuck.. I swear to you if I lose him right now... I will lose myself. My grandparents have been everything to me. Losing Mimi was hard but it wasn't as hard because her alzheimers had been bad for years and she had been deteriorating over a long period of time. My grandaddy is of sound state of mind though. He's actually improved a lot of the past year. It's so unfair that his body is trying to turn against him. He has been a fit healthy man his entire life. He eats ideally for a human being, good portion sizes and variety and lots of healthy and fresh stuff and lots of seafood. He rarely ever eats fast food or any junk foods. He doesn't smoke and rarely drinks. Ugh. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm scared. And sad. Very very sad. And I've got so much else on me right now. "The" conversation with Marc's family is supposed to happen today. I have 2 midterms in the next 3 days. My child is being AWFUL. He's sweet but defiant as hell and a wild almost 3 year old. And when he's mad he can be very mean and he's mad everytime he's in trouble so, yeah. It's not a fun situation especially when I'm out of patience and sad and worried and have no fucking help. I just called Marc in tears and begged him to try and get off today because I can't handle all this right now nor do I deserve to have to. Plus I've got that damn dentist appointment in less than 3 hours. And I can't even get ready for it. And I NEED to get ready for it because I am a damn mess. I wish my friends didn't suck and that I actually felt like talking to any of them about this. I mean I have a few friends who don't suck but nobody I feel like opening up to. Maybe one but it's been awhile and I don't want it to be all awkward if I go all nervous-breakdown on her. And god forbid Laura should actually pay attention to fucking anything going on in my life and act like the friend she supposedly is. Ugh, that's a whole separate blog for another place and time. It just sucks because she will randomly every few months facebook me to tell me how much she misses me but I don't believe her. She wonders why I don't call her anymore (I guess she wonders..) but I don't even know how to talk to her anymore. And I could use the girl who used to be my closest ally right now. But it isn't the same because she isn't anymore. Ugh. Nothing like feeling helpless and alone

:( I'm sorry your grandfather is suffering. He will be in my thoughts and so will you.

I hope your day gets better. Maybe once you're done with that dentist appointment things will look up.
» Amelie on 2012-03-29 11:56:25

:( I'm sorry, hopefully it all gets better soon.

RE: Yes! I adore my mustache cursor also :D Except sometimes it doesn't show for me @_@ probably because the picture hasn't loaded yet, but indeed very fun!

Legend of Korra is a spinoff series of Avatar: The Airbender :) It's an amazing nickelodeon animated TV show!
» peanutmelon on 2012-03-29 03:44:12

awwww lyndeep, that sounds like the perfect storm of a terrible day!!!! I hope you get some help!!!! Sorry to hear about your three-year-old, that must be so difficult when someone you love so much is acting mean to you. Guess you have to crack the whip on that boy (figuratively). I hope Marc will help you!! Can't you have a nervous breakdown in front of him? I hope you find some good friends. In the meantime, Nutang never closes. :)
» Zanzibar on 2012-04-01 01:54:06

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