I decided to write a prologue to an old story of mine: The Brothers of Ipsen.

Jorge Before Reincarnation

Twice upon two times, there was an emu who rode the Seven Sands of Buhoyaqeen. However, he was a miniature emu, and thus jumped on each of the seven grains of sand one by one. When he reached the fifth, he slipped and fell five thousand nanometers. And after that, he also fell into a crevace: The Fissure of the Seasons.

In this fissure awaited a barbershop trio. They called themselves the Brothers of Ipsen. Peter, Hardy, and Bobby sang many a lascivious tune, which fell on the emu's deaf ears. You see, he lost them in the War of the River Skanks. A bullet had penetrated his aura and filled his appendix with seventeen ambiguous Post-It notes. To numb the pain, Jorge the Emu became addicted to PCP, which, as even Seymobugi knows, causes an emu to lose all of his/her pores. Without the ability to sweat, Jorge had to get all of the water sucked out of him. Everyone, even Seymobugi's daughter-in-law knows that emus are 97.5 The Hawk percent water, hence Jorge's lilliputian stature.

Suddenly, the Brothers of Ipsen sung their rendition of "O, My Mother is a Goudy One." Jorge was shoved off into the depths of Hades, where he fell into the chilly River Styx. He sucked up the water and forsaken souls like a sponge, oh boy! So good Cassius squeezed him out, then gayly hopped back into the mouth of Satan. Jorge did not give up yet, though, oh no. You see, he had an ability that no other emu had: A double-jointed cranium. He used this secret weapon to his advantage, and killed himself.

The End.

I have been enlightened.
» monkeymeister on 2005-03-26 01:05:22

Then, I am graced by your presence, Buddha.
» le_battement on 2005-03-26 08:48:47

lovely ending.
quite entertaining, indeed.
» invisible on 2005-03-26 04:59:57

heyy.
you helped me maybe six months ago make one of these and i just kind of quit. ethier way, thanks for that. ash. p.s. nice musical choices.
» car_crash_pretty on 2005-04-01 01:13:39

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.