I have recently uncovered a most frightening scandal.
When you get sick with a sore throat, headache, stuffed nose, or whatever, what is a common piece of advice you normally hear? "Go eat some chicken soup."
Now, everybody gets sick in their lives. Thus, everyone eventually will eat chicken soup. In fact, more people have eaten chicken soup in history than any other type of soup, mainly because of its ambiguous ability to cure any sickness. Doesn't this sound a bit odd?
In 1869, Ulysses S. Grant was sworn into office as President of the United States. But at the same time, the Campbell Soup Company was formed. It is widely known that Grant was a lover of soups, and saw potential in the soup industry. Still today, the issue over the ties between the American Government and the Campbell Soup Company sparks many heated debates.
The 1932 German election saw the Nazi party gaining 37.3% of the vote, a vast plurality over the other parties. The United States, at that time being a world power both because of its economy in trade and its show of militarism in World War I, felt threatened by yet another Socialist revolution in the form of Nazism. Seeing the effectiveness of surprise bombing attacks, the United States Air Force began to receive abundant funds for research. Coincidentally, the Campbell Soup Company released its successful Chicken Noodle Soup for the first time in 1932. And with Adolf Hitler, a known radical, being promoted to Chancellor of Germany in 1933, the pressure was on.
Vast marketing ploys ensued, one such ploy being a rumor that Chicken Noodle Soup helps you feel better when you're sick. This rumor, making the soup a must-have item, ensured that Chicken Noodle Soup would never lose popularity. That's right, government uses the funds from the popular sales of Chicken Noodle Soup to research their stealth and bomber technology, specifically in Area-51. It's a fool-proof plan.
In the 1960s, with the Cold War on the rise, the government sought to gain more popularity for the Campbell Soup Company in order to boost much-needed funds for research on stealth aerial surveillance. Thus, they contacted artist Andy Warhol.
Through the 1960s, Andy Warhol became more and more famous for his modern art depicting Campbell's Soup cans. He has painted many, many different pieces, varying the type of soup and the style of the art itself. A
simple search on Google Images returns dozens upon dozens of pictures of his. When I saw just how many paintings this guy has made, my Bullshit Detector went off. Tomato Soup, Black Bean Soup, Chicken Noodle Soup, Onion Soup, Vegetable Soup, Beef Soup, Green Pea Soup, Pepper Pot Soup, Cream of Mushroom Soup, Consommé Soup; it's all there.
the guy paints fucking soup cans for a living. Nobody can live off of that, unless of course, they were secretly paid to do it by the government.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself: "What the hell is this guy smoking? He has no evidence of a relation between the Air Force/Area-51 and the Campbell Soup Company." As it turns out, you are very wrong. I do indeed have evidence, thanks to Russia's 1-meter IKONOS imagery satellite. Crisp, clear pictures of Area-51 have been gathered, and I think you will be stunned by what you see.
Look closely at the sand patterns in the light, top-right region of this satellite picture of Area-51:
If you can't see it, here is the same image enhanced with a stereophonic depth field:
i rest my case.
sounds interesting
» Midnight on 2004-06-23 10:45:11
hey!!! long time no talk..
For the Chicken Soup scandal...are you talkign about the chicken soup for (insert person here) Soul? lol i really don't know, but it seems pretty interesting.
» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-06-23 10:51:14
CHICKEN SOUP SCANDAL??! what is the world coming to......?
» dis1girl on 2004-06-23 11:27:05
This has nothing to do with Chicken Soup, but I rather enjoyed your entry about Vegetarians. I added you to my friends list.
» LimberFingers53 on 2004-06-24 12:27:22
ummm...verry interesting about the scandal thing...i never knew the history of chicken soup
» JoLiE_PaPiLlIoN on 2004-06-24 08:34:04
inever knew either...that's kinda freaky and interesting..
» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-06-24 09:57:11
thats pretty insnae. sweet scandal haha.
» unshedtears00 on 2004-06-24 10:26:50
So, what you're saying is, Campbells is, like, pretty much a millitary helper or something? Or it was, at least?
» RanDumbNess on 2004-06-24 11:17:36
I'm saying that Campbell was created by the government as a front for gathering funds for secret research.
» le_battement on 2004-06-24 11:31:47
i've been saved
good research. that was pretty darned interesting. what inspired you to write about soup and government? =)
» jamie on 2004-06-24 12:18:42
Someone said to eat some soup when I mentioned my throat hurt. That's about it.
» le_battement on 2004-06-24 12:53:43
neato cheeto.
that's some good research there. chicken soup as a cure for various diseases is pretty ambiguous, isn't it? i wonder why nobody has discovered this before. oh, and i also wondered why the hell andy warhol liked painting soup cans. we took a field trip to the museum of modern art once, and i was like "uhh. what's so special about these cans? THIS IS NOT ART ANGER ANGER ANGER." mmhmm. exactly like that.
» LifelessEyelid on 2004-06-24 02:25:51
i say this is rather interesting than stupid.. but wow..lol
» (67.166.200.84) on 2004-06-24 02:53:12
interstiiiiiiiing .... lol ... is the very last pic real ?? lol .....
» nizull on 2004-06-24 04:45:30
That's up to you to decide.
» le_battement on 2004-06-24 05:04:18
Thats IT!
I've decided to gather my valuables, go build an underground bomb shelter, and live off nothing but Franco-American uncooked canned spagetti. This information is deeply troubling and I have a feeling that my uncle maybe in on it. He works for Campbell's. Also my P.E. teacher from 7th grade's last name was Campbell. This makes me think that they are slowly hatching a plan to capture me and make me perform soup tasting tests. At first I will refuse, but soon the soup will overtake my rational thought and soon I will evolve in to a mindless creature who can only mutter the words "Mhm Mhm Good"
I'm Scared
» JINX!!! on 2004-06-24 05:28:33
No, are you retarded? Keep buying Campbell's soup unless you want the Soviets to nuke us. Damn Commies!
» le_battement on 2004-06-24 05:30:54
No no I don't want that!!!
Mhm Mhm Good! *Salutes*
Mhm Mhm Good! *Salutes*
Mhm Mhm Good! *Salutes*
» JINX!!! on 2004-06-24 05:32:52
Nice.
» le_battement on 2004-06-24 05:34:28
whaaaaaa?
I thought the soviet union doesn't exist anymore... because I am pretty sure I just finished a report on the collapse of the soviet union for my history final...
» jamie on 2004-06-24 05:53:46
Lies! Propaganda spread by the United States.
» le_battement on 2004-06-24 07:51:58
next time,
i'll let you do my history reports. i'm taking u.s. history next year. =p
» jamie on 2004-06-24 10:35:41
Yeah, I just finished Advanced Placement US History.
» le_battement on 2004-06-25 06:51:44
yuck.
i don't really like history. so i didn't sign up for AP.
» jamie on 2004-06-25 12:51:44
If you dont' like history, then sign up for AP. That way, you will not have to pay to take it in college. =P
» le_battement on 2004-06-25 01:06:58
i'd be happy to think you're right
but i've never heard of someone going out and buying tinned chicken soup when they're sick... there's always some fat woman with a cloth tied around her head that slaves over a stove and then brings it to the sick person on a tray.... infact, aint she the same woman who makes the casserole for the man whos wife just died/left him?? hmm.
» painless on 2004-06-25 05:00:29
I wish I knew what movie you're referring to. And if you're not referring to a movie, you should go to a clinic.
» le_battement on 2004-06-25 05:56:20
yes
i concur.
i wish i had thought about that AP stuff... Oh well, it's a little late to switch now. grrr.
» jamie on 2004-06-25 09:27:29
It's probably not too late. Schools usually give until the second week of that semester to switch classes.
» le_battement on 2004-06-26 09:15:36
history is too much fun O_O
» nizull on 2004-06-26 02:43:01
Good god man,
how much time do you spend doing all of this research? And what do you make of that other soup company that basically says Cambells is for kids? You don't suppose they're supporting the still-quite-alive Nazi government that hides in the French underground where no one would suspect them, do you?
» desertsnowstorm on 2004-06-26 08:34:37
No, those are the commies.
» le_battement on 2004-06-26 10:45:47
right.
but in our school we have to do a whole bunch of work before the schoolyear actually starts... everyone taking AP took a book or two home to start working on... its a little late to do any of that.
» jamie on 2004-06-27 12:43:45
i'm taking Ap Worl Hist next year... my teacher doesn't even teach. She makes people color. If you don't do the work, get on her good side and she'll give you a 96ish. If you don't do wokr and you're on her bad side, you'll get like an 86ish. If you do all her work and are on her good side, you'll feel like crapola because people who don't do work and are on her good side are getting the same grades as you. But what determines if you do good...is on the Regents... I have some messed up teachers. Ok well instead of the U.S. government brainwashing me with useless and non-existant facts like "the soviet Union doesn't exist" ... I've become an even more confused person ... let's over throw the government and elect Syd as our official president....what? I'm confused now... o___O muwahaha! I didn't laugh *looks away* I didn't laugh! You're conusing me again! riiiiiiight XD
desertsnowstorm.....are you talking about Progresso?
» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-06-28 09:38:02
oops i mean AP World Hist
» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-06-28 09:38:29
Well It doesn't matter what grade you get in the class. It only matters what grade you get on the AP exam. You can fail teh class and still pass the AP exam with a 5, and you'll still be able to skip it in college.
» le_battement on 2004-06-28 10:53:21
twinkies
if you think campbell's soup is a conspiracy, try twinkies. absolutely evil. and fluffy and puffy and creamy.
» roshan (68.40.58.114) on 2004-06-28 04:50:23
I'm the man on the silver mountaaaainn!
» le_battement on 2004-06-28 05:17:11
twinkies
if you think campbell's soup is a conspiracy, try twinkies. absolutely evil. and fluffy and puffy and creamy.
» roshan (68.40.58.114) on 2004-06-28 05:34:06
ew. twinkies are disgusting.
did you know that at carnivals and fairs and whatnot, people deep-fry twinkies? that's so revolting. blergh.
my bio teacher did an experiment with twinkies once... he put a few twinkies in a box -like 10 years ago... and recently took them out. he had some people test them, and they tasted exactly the same as if you were to buy them from the store.
» jamie on 2004-06-28 06:15:29
My Physics teacher deep fried Oreos. Don't bust on it till you try it.
» le_battement on 2004-06-28 09:07:07
this has nothing to do with the post
hey...im new to nutang and was lookin through the templates and saw the machine..u working for 2advanced or something? cause u straight jacked their layout.
www.2advanced.com
» iono (66.139.121.176) on 2004-06-29 12:35:09
hm i guess.
but maybe it doesn't help i don't like twinkies anyway.
» jamie on 2004-06-29 01:34:45
I only took a screentshot of a part of an animation, that's not straight-jacking, heh. You're the first person to notice that; it's a great site, no? I used to have a link to it on my page when I used that layout.
» le_battement on 2004-06-30 08:40:24
i can never look at chicken noodle soup the same way, haha, jp. but that's still good to know, thanks for another interesting blog!
» Orli_My_Love on 2004-07-01 11:29:11
i eat chicken soup...but i take out the chicken. so i guess it's just soup. or maybe chicken soup with it's soul removed.
i agree...i don't like the limitations of poetry.com...but i do like the contest. it gives me something to do during the day other than letting my mind turn to mush while surfing the net. and i like playing around with words. as for your poetry...i really like it. love LOVE your use of language. vivid. i dig it. thanks for stopping by!
xoxo
» MOD512 on 2004-07-02 02:58:28
yeah, poetry.com's limitations are kinda counter-intuitive ...
but hey, le_battement, how do you change the color of your gorillas / stripy thingies on top? is that a pps thing?
» LifelessEyelid on 2004-07-02 04:34:57
maaaaaaagic
» jamie on 2004-07-02 05:58:41
Magic, huh?
» le_battement on 2004-07-02 06:25:14
I like Magic....I like Monkeys too!!oh and Sugarcult*totally off subject*
» luvablemonkey on 2004-07-02 10:08:05
no reaaallly
quiero saberlo por favor.
» LifelessEyelid on 2004-07-03 10:31:46
Lifeless, I dont' know your password, so I hope you look here.. THe black and white NuTang thing, I made that myself in Photoshop and made it overlap the regular green image. You can do it for free. If you want me to explain how to put it there and position it correctly, let me know and I'll add it to the FAQ in the forums.
» le_battement on 2004-07-03 01:53:10
I never liked chicken soup anyways
I knew it.
» invisible on 2004-07-06 02:59:26
oh, and
yes, it'd be cool if you put the instructions for putting up the gorillas like you did in the FAQ. 'twould be great.
» invisible on 2004-07-06 03:06:03
Alright, whatever. It involves making your own image which a lot of people suck at. So I will just explain how to place an object like an image anywhere on your page.
» le_battement on 2004-07-11 02:45:10
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