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dave
Age. 41
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location Valley Village, CA
School. Cornell Univ
» More info.
a great warrior
16th day of 2006
I saw the first half of the 4-hour premiere of 24 last night. Jack Bauer is a great warrior.

Facts about Jack Bauer
Purloined from bluetopaz

1. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
3. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
4. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
5. Children don't believe in Santa anymore because they know Jack Bauer killed him. The few people that believe in Santa know that Jack Bauer is torturing him.
6. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
7. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
8. Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...you don't wanna know...
9. Jack Bauer's gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack fucking Bauer.
10. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
11. If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.
12. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
13. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
14. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
15. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
16. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
17. Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
18. While being ‘put under’ in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.
19. David Spade always says 'yes' to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.
20. If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.
21. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
22. Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn't want to.
23. Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
24. As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
25. Jack Bauer can sneeze with his eyes open.
26. Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
27. Jack Bauer shouldn't be compared to Jesus. Jack rose from the dead not once, but twice.
28. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
29. Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
30. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
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Recommended by 1 Member
middaymoon
14 Comments.


[email protected]
LOL. I'm sooooo missing out on a lot of great shows. :(
» birdie (209.74.66.149) on 2006-01-16 12:43:30

dang, 4 hours?
I don't think I could stand 4 hours of the same thing. I could just stand the last Lord of the Rings. lol
» invisible on 2006-01-16 01:56:20

You're not really that old, are you?
» juiCyy on 2006-01-16 02:20:52

lmfao
i nominate Jack Bauer
» middaymoon on 2006-01-16 04:13:07

16. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

haha. gotta be my favorite.
» dis1girl on 2006-01-17 01:36:45

I live in constant fear of encountering this indestructible fiend in a fight. Which is why I always ask my opponents this question before attacking them, "Are you Jack Bauer?"
» theZEBRA on 2006-01-18 03:31:05

Did I miss the joke? Sorry..
» juiCyy on 2006-01-19 01:19:51

welp dave, i beseech your help again
first, i need to be able to actually use that word. (optional) second, i (might) need help puting a table on my secret page. like an entry.
» middaymoon on 2006-01-19 09:37:31

ok, scratch the table
although it would be welcome. but everytime i use a contraction, i get a little extra.
example: Wouldn't = Wouldn't

wtf...?
» middaymoon on 2006-01-19 09:44:42

ok dave
i have added a little bit to my secret page. check it out
» middaymoon on 2006-01-20 03:17:42

lol
ive heard the smae things about chuck norris
» gotenkz on 2006-02-28 01:03:35

24 = pwn
The premiere was four hours? Really? ...I could have sworn it was two. Either way, I'm late on commenting this blog 'cause the finale is tomorrow. What's the name of that movie with Kiefer that was a 24 rip? I have to see it. But I forgot what it's called. And that makes me sad.
» Le_Jes on 2006-05-21 08:50:41

hello
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» (125.240.113.194) on 2006-09-07 02:38:05

hello
Hello nice site, where i can read more?
http://cash-loan.finance-here.biz
http://debt-consolidation.finance-here.biz
http://financing.finance-here.biz
http://forex-trading.finance-here.biz
http://mortgage-calculator.finance-here.biz
http://mortgage-refinancing.finance-here.biz
http://online-banking.finance-here.biz
http://online-trading.finance-here.biz
http://stock.finance-here.biz
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PS: Where i can read forum rules or somebody show me link to forum FAQ. Thanks.
» (221.231.114.20) on 2006-09-08 10:04:52

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