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dave
Age. 41
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location Valley Village, CA
School. Cornell Univ
» More info.
The giant shrimp
9th day of 2006
It was no imprecation notched in my path to destiny that brought me inside Wegman's supermarket. No, it was not, but I will not attempt to offer any suitable exegesis to lay clarity upon this situation.

Anyway, I was wondering around, and in the sea/prepared meats section (I'm sure there's an official term for this section), I saw these humongous shrimp. I'm not even joking -- these were like the size of fat hot dog buns. They were soo big for shrimp. When I showed my mom, she laughed. They were expensive as hell too... I think $14.99/lb if I remembered correctly.

So, anyway, I decided to try and find images of them online to show you all. And then it happened.

What I thought would be just an innocent quick search on Google... brought me into this fucked up, surreal, underground, online society of the giant shrimps. (And no, this will not end up as some convoluted reference to the Cornell shrimp-faced ungraduate.)

Let us hold hands and travel together on a most terrible voyage . . .


upon entering the world of the giants, I met the Gomek family, feasting on the remains of a giant flamingo. . . they asked me to join them . . . I said 'no way you sick bastards,' and I carried on . . .


I broke through the storm troopers and chased down the giant shrimp men on their getaway bikes, but it was a trap . . .


they led me to their boss, mister shrimpster . . . he was an admirable foe, but he was a shrimp nonetheless, so I kicked his ass and broke into the Fortress of a Thousand Shrimp . . .




victory at last!

I hope you enjoyed this voyage and will always remember never to underestimate the giant shrimp or their allies.

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All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
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11 Comments.


wowers, that's 1 hell of a journey!! Its good that U emerged victorous, :-)
» CPKviperpheonix on 2006-01-10 10:38:09

Wow
Those are really big. Sheesh.
» bifocalLs on 2006-01-10 10:42:06

Is Mr Shrimpster perchance a relative of the Tick?
» theZEBRA on 2006-01-10 08:25:18

that's fookishly funny
dude, your layout is getting hard to read, because the whole left (right) side is blocked.
maybe highlight the words?
» middaymoon on 2006-01-10 08:49:54

re: comments
CPK - victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan
bifocalls - yes, but the bigger they are, the harder they fall
zebra - hmm, I don't know; you should ask jeeves
midday - I guess this template is not well suited for smaller resolutions; what's the css code to highlight words?
» dave on 2006-01-11 01:07:51

as amazing as the giant flamingo is... it's very creepy. other than that, the giant shrimp reminds me of the giant shrimp my dad brought back from vietnam, made of bamboo.
» dis1girl on 2006-01-11 01:09:34

damn
and i though my voyage was amazing.. this will go down in the history books as the best thing that ever happened to the universe also there should be like a monthly champion of the NWF or something... some ranking system of some sort.. yeah. And i am very sad that you didn't vote for me
» monkeymeister on 2006-01-11 07:55:54

so i'd like to inform you that nutang has been in my profile for OVER TEN DAYS. can i get some cool points or something.
» xCALLTHECOPS on 2006-01-12 05:36:39

re: comments
dis1girl - the giant flamingo is actually made of bubblegum
m-meister - there will be much magic to come
xcops - sorry; reward has been sent!
» dave on 2006-01-12 05:42:17

ok dave
finally fin. now i can spend my time doing...other stuff. get some exercise. im becoming a pooter potato
» middaymoon on 2006-01-13 05:44:31

You only get six out of ten
When I first saw the first image, my first thought was "OMG! What the hell did they do to the flamingo?!??" And then I wasn't sure if it even was a flamingo. Then I read your entry.
Now I don't think I'll be able to eat shrimp for a while now. =P

How do I find all these sites? Most of them I don't remember how I got to them. Probably from clicking around, one link to another. Or a newsletter, or a link someone had in their blog or something. I usually don't remember. Like I don't remember how I found NuTang - I have no rememberance of how I found it. I just know I came. =)
» invisible on 2006-01-14 08:50:50

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