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Barren Illusion
"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal- that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality. Perhaps the facts most astounding and most real are never communicated by man to man. The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched." - Henry David Thoreau
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Britney Spears Got Married?
domingo, 4 de enero, 2004
...Then got it immediately annulled. Why I am not surprised? Did some tequila and a 'Friends' episode inspire her? Well, it's all "reported," so maybe I should have some doubts about our beloved B.S.
Hee, I finally got my RK Theme Song Collection CD... Yaaarg... having to take a subway and bus to Queens just to get it... (an anime "warehouse"). The train ride was nothing, but I accidently took the bus that went in the wrong direction and rode it for almost half an hour to Jamaica rather than the 10 minutes to College Point!! Stupid!! At least I wasn't alone... but when I got on the bus that went in the right direction, I think it was the same! I thought the driver looked suspiciously familiar, and I remembered this cracked part above the exit (and my friend recognized the oil stains on the back of the bus). How embarassing...

Happy late New Year and early Three King's (and way early Chinese New Year's -- money, money, money).

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"AHH! Natural light!"
miércoles, 2 de febrero, 2005
Usually I don't go to J&R's Clearance Outlet because there really aren't any good selections for a good price, unless they have their 99¢ CD sale (Lifehouse and Our Lady Peace last time), but I bought the Zatoichi/Sonatine DVDs for $9.99. It was unwrapped, but there weren't any heavy scratches on the cover and the discs were in perfect condition. Two movies for the price of one! Suck on that, everybody else. ...Though now I have two copies of Sonatine and I have Quentin Tarantino presenting the film... didn't he present Hero, too? Too bad I saw it two years ago, and bought it for $5.95, QT. Well... at least it's Quentin Tarantino and not Mischa Barton or something. Wow, I haven't typed this much about myself since the second entry. Maybe I'll talk about how stupid War & Beauty (HK drama) was next time! The possibilities are endless.

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Lame teens
domingo, 20 de agosto, 2006
So how lame were the lame Teen Choice Awards? Pretty lame. I can't believe that, as a teen, I used to vote on this show. I stopped after a couple of years when I realized no one I picked won, and that it's just a huge popularity contest (duh, Lily, why didn't you figure that out sooner???).

This year was the first time I'd seen it in a while. Everything is still the same. Basically, the celebrities that are there will win. Oh no, I figured out the secret! Seven years ago!

I wonder how much money the bikini-clad chicks were paid for sitting in what appeared to be tepid and stagnant hot-tub water -- at least, it only seemed to be tepid and stagnant for the first half of the show. That was lame, too.

The saddest part of the show wasn't Kevin Federline's debut performance, surprisingly (don't worry, it's second), but Brooke Hogan, who easily spent the longest time up on the podium because she was discussing and thanking everyone from her fans to her family (father) for winning best grill. The fact that she seemed genuinely sincere to win a surfboard for best superfluous braces and the fact that "best grill" even exists as a category is tragic to mankind. The fact that the cameraman and producers seemed to ignore Brooke's come-hither gestures for a closer look at her busted teeth gives me a little hope, however.

The only good parts I remember: Jensen Ackles and Jessica Alba. Wouldn't they make the prettiest babies, and have the best interchangeable monogrammed towels ever?

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Uh, all right then
lunes, 10 de abril, 2006
When the newscaster teased me with Gwyneth's new son's name as "Biblical" I joked, "Moses? Haha!" Well, wtiness my completely open, drooling mouth as they returned and said HIS NAME IS MOSES. I am not a Coldplay fan, so I didn't know he wrote a song of the same name; I thought Biblical as normally Biblical, like, Michael, Jacob, Noah, or Jesus.

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miércoles, 15 de junio 2005
After watching ROTS (for the second time) on the 12th, I popped in my ANH DVD for continuation purposes and was transported once again to my relatively recent youth... and as scenes with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) progressed I started to cry, which surprised me, but even more surprising, why? I knew he was going to "die," I had seen the movie at least 5 times (and about a different edition each time; thanks George). Or maybe it's because of my estrogen. Hahaihahalhahaohahavhahae hahaehahawhahaahahan hahamhahachahaghaharhahaehahaghahaohahar.

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Is Jack Bauer the new Chuck Norris?
lunes, 16 de enero, 2006
I like 24. I haven't seen all the episodes, but it's pretty easy to get into it even if I start watching in the middle of an episode. I know the gist of what happened each season. Why am I so excited for this particular day, though?? Return of Elisha Cuthbert? Re-emergence of C. Thomas Howell??? Kiefer-love reaching uncharted territory????

As for the first half of the "premiere event":
Oh. No. They. Didn't.

Top Thirty Jack Bauer Facts

1. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
3. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
4. Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. *dies of laughter*
5. Children don't believe in Santa anymore because they know Jack Bauer killed him. The few people that believe in Santa know that Jack Bauer is torturing him.
6. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
7. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
8. Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...you don't wanna know...
9. Jack Bauer's gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack fucking Bauer.
10. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
11. If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're fucked.
12. If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
13. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
14. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
15. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
16. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
17. Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
18. While being ‘put under’ in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.
19. David Spade always says 'yes' to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.
20. If Jack Bauer had been on Oceanic 815 there would no Lost.
21. Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
22. Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn't want to.
23. Everytime Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
24. As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
25. Jack Bauer can sneeze with his eyes open.
26. Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
27. Jack Bauer shouldn't be compared to Jesus. Jack rose from the dead not once, but twice.
28. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
29. Jack Bauer hates casual conversation. He prefers bullets.
30. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
- source

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I scare myself
domingo, 28 de mayo, 2006
I was on the bus yesterday afternoon complaining to my friend about the impending Brangina baby, that I hope she frickin' gives birth soon because I'm sick of all the stupid news. Then she goes and gives birth on the same day. Derr.
"Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called GILLIGAN'S ISLAND.

"There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized.

"The island is a direct representation of hell. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave.

"Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:

"Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.

"Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger's beauty.

"The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all.

"Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.

"Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on any of their escape plans.

"The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.

"This leaves Gilligan.

"Gilligan is the person who keeps them there. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots.

"Also, it is HIS island. Therefore, Gilligan is SATAN.


"He does wear red in every episode..."

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You know what really grinds my gears
miércoles, 14 de junio, 2006
I hate when a good song is sung by a terrible voice. For example, Rihanna's "Unfaithful." The lyrics and music are decent, but she sounds like:

(a) a bleating, tone-deaf lamb that is slowly dying from a slashed throat;
(b) a desperate, begging wino (and not the hilarious, Barney Gumble-like kind, or even like the pathetic, exonerated Abel Koontz);
(c) my caterwauling clarinet playing;
(d) a pregnant cow (which kinda ties in with c)

I stick around for a minute or so for the lyrics, but usually I can't take much more than that and I have to switch the radio station, lest I go deaf. Every time I hear the song I think, "Good Lord, this song would be 2x better if I sang it, and 1,000,000x better if someone talented did." I'm kidding about the first part, by the way. Probably only 0.25x.

Was NASA too busy to brush up her vocals or something? Even Paris Hilton's "Stars are Blind" is better. I mean, holy crap. Paris Hilton.

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