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Entry 3: Last Day
Sunday. 3.6.05 3:01 pm
4 Feb 05

I just had a discussion with a guy in my squad who was saying he lives every day like it's his last. This doesn't make any sense. If today was your last day, would you be in basic training? 3 months ago when he signed up, he lived that day like it was his last. Who signs up for a long commitment on their last day? If today was your last day alive, you wouldn't do any of the stuff you normally do. You wouldn't shower. If you're going to die tomorrow, what does it matter how much you smell or how dirty you are? You wouldn't work out. You would only buy things you plan on using/consuming within the hour. You would want to see everybody you know. You would also want to do so much stuff you wouldn't see anyone. Most people, if they knew they would die tomorrow, chances are they would die today. If I knew that, I would do all the crazy shit I always wanted to because I'd have no inhibitions, no worry about consequence. So I'd end up dead or in jail today. If I knew I would die tomorrow, I would no doubt be in the news for something. I'd slap a bear or try to piss on the floor in the whitehouse or jump off a train or something.

So I'm talkin to this dude and he's like, "yeah man that's EXACTLY how I live", and it was pissin me off. You'd never join anything, never go to school, never do anything to start a relationship. It's impossible to live every day like it's your last. You'd live in the street, hungry because you'd have no money. You need a job for money and who would go to work the last day they were alive? So at this point there's 3 more guys agreeing with me, but this one crackhead is insisting that is how he lives. So I guess the moral of the story is don't make up dumb shit to impress anyone. And don't stay to your story when your actions are proved impossible.



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