this is my entry to the folklore contest. If its a contest of being random and not making sense, then believe you me Im gonna compete. Sally Salamander ...and then Wilbash said "I know I'm a rooster, and its hot here!" Stunned by the roosters ability to state the obvious Krulon could only shake his head. For a land walrus like Krulon would be wise not to say much. These gentle giants are known better for their ability to fly, than their ability to speak with rationale. One of the few things you will ever hear a land walrus speak of is the story of Professor Nibblebum. Their story starts in a time where they didn't keep time. Professor Nibblebum was like all the other children except that he liked the cold. That would seem fine in todays era of winter and what have you, but in their time Professor Nibblebum lived on the beach. A beach with white mountains, trees that grew deep into the ground, and warm weather all year round. Professor Nibblebum one day went into the water with all the other little gromuli (that was the name for a yound land walrus) and they swam and played with the rest of their friends. One of Professor Nibblebum friends Fleraly bet them that they could not swim down as far as he could. Tickled by the idea they accepted, and they told Fleraly that he was in for some trouble. "I will swim down so far that I'll come up on the other side of the moon" shrieked Professor Nibblebum. The gromuli started swimming down and down until Fleraly could swim no further. Professor Nibblebum was not daunted and continued to swim. The game was obviously won by Professor Nibblebum but they continued down. Maybe to prove that they could swim the furthest, or maybe they saw something shiny, no one knows for sure. But one thing that is sure, is that as Professor Nibblebum went further and further they found something they could not explain. They felt a feeling altogether new and they were excited. The best words Professor Nibblebum could think of was the opposite of the warm sunniness of the beach they called home. As they got to the beach, Fleraly and the other gromuli were long gone. Professor Nibblebum, intrigued by this new sensation, asked the elders of the beach about this discovery. Wahmp, the strongest of the elders, informed them that what they were feeling was coldness, and for centuries it had not touched their beach. Professor Nibblebum asked "Where can we find more of this cold?" Wahmp struck them down with digust and told them never to speak of coldness. Or fireflies. Eager and rebellious brave Professor Nibblebum ventured away from the modestly clean beach to explore other areas, and try to find the forbidden cold. They traveled through the suprisingly bright swamplands of Jogristubar, the lion infested islands of Zurikan, and the boringly plain plains of Gromung. None of the inhabitants of any of these places knew about this cold, and they laughed and called Professor Nibblebum names. Names other than Professor Nibblebum. During their travels, they developed immunities to polaraizanaria and salt . And through all this Professor Nibblebum knew they had to persevere. They remembered the word their stepfather said when they were learning to fly: "Professor Nibblebum, Im not your dad. Don't bother me." Those words of inspiration stuck with them and they continued the search. Until one day, they met a Zebraphant called Chief Jim. Whats that? Oh, Chief Jim says we can just call him Jim. So Jim was the mix of an astrological Zebra who fell in love with an old wise elephant and they were the parents of Jim. Jim was not slim. But Jim was wise of the moon they lived on and had a freindly, seductive spirit. Tim befriends Professor Nibblebum and told them where they could find the cold they were looking for. The team traveled north with only a flashlight and the remains of a tuna can. The farther north they went, the less warm it got. Hot turned into warm, warm turned into muggy, muggy turned into luke-warm, and luke-warm turned to room temperature. Then one day, after all the struggle and yahtzee, Professor Nibblebum had finally found the cold they wanted for so long. Snow began to fall as the angels sang. Professor Nibblebum soaked up all the glory of the cold. "This is the best thing we've ever felt" Professor Nibblebum said to Kim.They went sliding down hills of snow. They went trying to stand on ice but falling on their bottoms. They even had a contest of projecting wads of snow at each other. Then, when Professor Nibblebum went back to the icy water, they saw something trying to get out. It was Fleraly! "AHA! I WIN!" cried Fleraly. "What do you mean?" said Professor Nibblebum: "we swam down so far that by the time we came back up you were gone. Then we came to find the cold, we've traveled so long" Fleraly gave them a puzzled look then it all came together. "Uh huh" Fleraly said. "I've been swimming down and down for about 4 hunfids until I saw this solid water. Listen, don't make up silly stories about hardships and exploration to cover up the fact that you lost. I won, i am the best swimmer, and you are just wierd." And this day every land walrus remembers that story and they know: if you lose, so what? Try something else. Just dont make up some long, in-depth story about why you didnt want to win or whatever. No one believes you.

Awesome story. Congratulatoins on your victory.
» le_battement on 2004-09-02 07:29:12

i completely agree with le_b.
» 2%milk on 2004-09-02 11:38:02

That story rocks.
» LimberFingers53 on 2004-09-02 02:11:36

there is no way i can compete with that
its just too random... good job!
» monkeymeister on 2004-09-02 03:10:11

Yours was pretty damn random too, Useless. Just this one seemed a bit more structured while keeping it random. It's hard to do, but mst3k did it.
» le_battement on 2004-09-02 06:09:53

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