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vision of the world
Sunday. 8.1.04 11:30 pm
i figured it out. whenever i look at someone i always see their eyes first. and on women it determines the level of my attractedness to them. obviously if they have huge boobs im gonna notice that and on natural instinct be attracted to her, no man can control that. but the eyes are the insight to that person. you can tell the kind of person someone is based on their eyes, well i do at least. and i think its because your eyes are how you see the world.and the way you see the world determines who you are. do you see the glass half empty? do you see only bad when someone dies? do you see a solution when everyone else sees another reason to give up and collect sympathy? do you see something 'impossible' and r un head long into it. the way you percieve determined the way you act. a giant and a midget would look at the same person 2 totally different ways. thats why i like eyes. and to love another you have to love yourself. and in a slightly conceited way i very much so love myself. every situation i get into i do whatever i feel i should do, no regrets, no caring about what others think, no thinking this is right but doing something else. which makes me 100% comfortable with who i am which i think is the only way one should live. regret is one of the worst feelings ever. making a bad descision you could not control and wishing you knew better isnt regret. not talking to that girl at the movies you really like because you got scared, then wishing for the next week you did is regret. but still i dont feel regret for anything i do. i look at every situation like this: everything i do will carry on forever no matter how small so do what the fuck makes sense, even if it causes temporary pain. a vaccination hurts right now, but you wont throw up your intestine out of your ear later. regret is avoiding temporary pain now for long term pain later. and thats one of the things i love about myself and i see it in my own eyes. i know it sounds ridiculous but i see so much when i look into my own eyes. i see my best friend, the only perosn that will ever completely understand me, the only person that will always look out for my well being first. now in situations i would definately put myself in harms way to save another, but the most natural instinct we have is survival, no matter how much we ignore it with cigarettes and tanning beds. so everyone should always look out for their own survival first. but like everything you need balance. of course if my house is 2 seconds from exploding and i can die trying to save you or escape and live, im going to do whats nescessary to live. but i can wait 3 seconds of my life to hold the door for someone, or help some old lady put a heavy box in her car. survival: you first. everything else: be courteous. i know people who go either exrteme. mostly tho its everyone thinking "i am the center of everything, you are shit" but then theres people like my mom who go broke giving everyone else money, or sleep in the street so someone else can have her bed. and i dont like that sometimes because not everyone deserves such things, especially when you work hard for it. ok, Jane got kicked out she needs a place to stay. be nice, let her stay, but make her clean while shes here. and after so long if she makes no effort to get out again kick her ass out. tge worst about her scenario is that she goes so far out of her way for people and they all disappear when she needs help. luckily i was born into a decent loving family so the 4 of us are always here for each other. were all just stubbornly independent and dont always ask for help. so i see similarities in all of our eyes because of alot of these. i think if everyone paid more attention to eyes then wed know more about each other. if you have a loved one or a friend thats not weirded out eaily just stare into their eyes for a little. their mouth can say endless rubbish but the eyes will never lie.
2 Comments.

heyy
im sorry... i only read the first part of your entry cuz im really sleepy right now, so i cant really concentrate on anything for very long... it actually meant something! wow... i mean everyone just talks about what happened that day... and your entrys are...different. well, i only read half of one, but if there all like that, then awesomeful. im gonna start reading your page more often.
» chocobopnai on 2004-08-02 03:21:37


Brian, part of what you wrote, I really needed to hear/read at this time. So thanks for that, unintentional though it was. Also when you IMed me I was already on my way back to school. So I'm in Camp Hill no longer. But hey guy, you should come visit me here this weekend! Yay! I'm moving to my new main street residence which I am afraid will not be much fun, but after that or something :) duuuude, england.
» Meghan (192.77.143.94) on 2004-08-04 10:10:59

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