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Friday - January 12, 2007 by Dick Johnson
In this week's Pulse Report, the streets are buzzing about "ego trip's The (white) Rapper Show," 50 Cent talking dirty to Howard Stern, will.i.am serving Miss Jones and Jin taking on Rosie O'Donnell.

Editor's Note: The views of this column do not reflect those of SOHH.com.

1. White rappers invade VH1. In case folks forgot to read Ron Mexico's masterfully written "(white) Rapper Show" analysis, the Pulse Report is here to give the topic life support. Earlier this week, SOHH caught up with Dasit, the first contestant to see the exit sign on ego trip's controversial program. The interview was interesting or borderline blasphemous depending who you ask. During the 20-plus minute session, Dasit unveiled that he recently signed a multi-million dollar deal, blasted the show for clowning white rappers and revealed that Hammer (who signed him two years ago) wanted him to record a diss song against Jay-Z and Eminem. As for MC Serch, Dasit doesn't even think he's on his level. According to the Toledo, OH rapper, Serch would get served if both battled in their prime. But there's more, Dasit seriously thought of serving Serch physically when he got eliminated from the competition. "Misfit was like, 'I can't believe he talked that much shit to you.' I was like, 'if this dude comes back here and says one more thing to me, I'ma punch this dude in the motherfucking mouth.'" Dasit told SOHH.com. "I mean, I don't give a shit. You ain't gon' disrespect me. I ain't gon be looking like a punk. I was trying to do it respectfully, honestly. But when he came at me like that. I flustered big time."

Aside from Dasit, John "King of the Burbz" Brown and Persia also made strong impressions. As half of America knows, this chick had the nerve to use the N word while brandishing a dildo in Brown's face. Maybe she missed the memo from Jesse Jackson and Michael Richards on the ban.

2. 50 and Howard Stern go too far. Eehhhhhh, the Pulse won't spend too much time on this one. Too disgusting! In a recent interview on Sirius Satellite radio, 50 and Howard got a bit graphic when talking about sexual penchants. When taking calls, Howard asked Gay Ramone what he would do to Fiddy. "I would eat his ass," Ramone said. Fif later admitted to having his ass licked by a woman in the past. Really? Hmmmmm...in the words of Dave Chappelle, FIFFFFFF!! [Peep the entire interview here]

3. will.i.am clowns Miss Jones. will.i.am paid a visit to Miss Jones' morning show on New York's Hot 97 earlier this week. Between sips of haterade, she began confronting the Black Eyed Peas frontman, calling him a Wyclef impersonator and accusing him of jacking The Fugees. LMAO! How, who, when, where, what is she talking about? Isn't it interesting that Miss Jones proudly hates on anything that moves, but used to ball every time Star & Bucwild hated in the morning. What a hypocrite! Anyhow, will ain't no punk, dude called Jonesy out on her asinine comparison before snapping on her repeatedly, first making some sort of cottage cheese reference and later telling her she needs to shave the hair off her chin. Ouch! When allowed to give shoutouts at the end of the interview, will thanked dental floss for coming out with a rope big enough for Jonesy's gap. Who knew dude was a comedian?

4. Jin takes on Rosie O'Donnell. It seems like Rosie's been pissing off quite a few dudes as of late. First, the Donald artfully insulted her and now Jin (remember him?) unloaded a full clip after Rosie mocked Chinese people on "The View." Why Jin? Standing up for your people is certainly a worthy and noble cause, but what exactly is Jin accomplishing by going at Rosie? He may get on ABC News. Regardless, the joint is skillfully done and funny bone hilarious. Using Nas' "Ether" instrumental, the battle emcee barrows God's Son's patterns, replacing "I...will...not...lose" with "you...are...not...funny." The hook also features an excerpt of Donald Trump talking about Rosie's "fat ugly face" and calling her "disgusting both inside and out." Meanwhile, Jin is merciless in both of his verses, spitting, "I never seen 'The View,' don't wanna see it if it's true/that's it you that most likely has a penis in the crew/you no-joke telling shaped like a middle line backer/special guest on the season finale of "Fear Factor"/but you gotta do more than eat a roach/wanna win 50 thousand/stick her tongue down her throat." He even flips it in Cantonese in the second verse. Rosie probably won't even bother listening to the track though. [Peep the track here]

5. Ray J. caught on tape. Some dudes have all the luck. How the hell is a cornball like Ray J. gonna get to tongue Ananda Lewis in his video and then wife up gorgeous ass Kim Kardishian? Me, jealous...yes? Me, hating...yep? Word is a sex tape is also in the works. While Kardishian says the tape is non-existent, the New York Daily News reported that rights to the tape are being acquired for $1 million. On the flip side, according to a Daily News witness, Kardishian and her team are actually the ones looking to put the tape out.

"She and her camp want to decide exactly what gets released and what doesn't. She is actively involved in its sale, but wishes to do it through a third party," the informant told the News. The informant also revealed that the graphic tape ends with a golden shower. Ray J was probably the catcher. Well if the tape comes out, please blur Ray J out. Thank you.

[For any questions, comments, criticism, hit up Dick Johnson at www.myspace.com/shcrewu2]

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